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Jessica Rose
连接： Jun 18, 2002
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性别和年龄： 女性 & 24
国家：加拿大
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relationships
June 24, 2002 - 05:30 AM
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What do you think the key to a successful relationship is? I'm curious because everyone's ideas are different. I want to hear yours.
And do you think teen relationships are a waste of time? Everyone knows they rarely last long and then you get hurt when you break up. Do you think its better to wait, or gain experience? Is it the right kind of experience?
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Jessica Rose
连接： Jun 18, 2002
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one more thought...
June 24, 2002 - 05:30 AM
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WHAT is the right kind of experience?
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Raymond M. Kristiansen
连接： Mar 1, 2002
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性别和年龄： 男性, 31
国家：Denmark
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Re: relationships
June 26, 2002 - 03:27 AM
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A successful relationship..
As you say, there are a lot of different opinions on that. And I think that there is not a lot of objective measures for what a successful relationship is. Yes, we could say that the partners should be able to listen to each other. Respond to each other. Support each other. But this comes in so many forms (depending on personality, culture, &etc) that it basically is hard to pin it down to concrete examples of How to do this.
Teen relationships. Since I didn't have many of those, I am kind of lacking of personal experience here. My first relationship started when i was 18 and lasted for one and a half years. Yes, the breaking up hurt, but I think the experiences were worth it.
So yes, I think it is better to gain experience. But hey, to go into a relationship just because one wants experience isn't the best approach. If you like a person of the opposite gender (or your own gender, if you go that way) then go for it. Try it out, get hurt, get happy, see more of what life is/can be about.
What is the right kind of experience? That is a question I find hard to answer. The right kind of experience could be to (as a teen) have a relationship for some time, then break up, experience the sorrow/strange mixtures of feelings that takes with it, and then go on. The right kind of experience could also be to be more sure of oneself as a emotional, spiritual and corporeal being and Then try out the relationships part of life.
a successful relationship is characterized by:
Openness, respect, fairness, to receive AND give, develop together, fun, adventure, and patience...
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Mike
连接： Aug 31, 2001
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性别和年龄： 男性, 23
国家：Australia
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For the record . . .
June 27, 2002 - 08:30 AM
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For the record ive never had a real-world (i hate that phrase) relationship.
But, I do know this - being able to express what your feeling is vital if a relationship is ever to succeed, but only if the other person is willing to listen.
As for teen relationships, well, it depends on whether your basing every move you make on what you have learned from sources other than your own instinct and experience. When your starting out its not always a good idea to rely on what 'movies' teach you, because chances are, the consequences will be rather painful, and even embarrassing.
Love, no matter how you see it, is - I gather, like jumping out of an aeroplane and meeting that someone on your way through the clouds.
- - -
Pred.
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Hye-Jin Lee
连接： Apr 17, 2002
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There isn't one definite answer.
June 29, 2002 - 04:21 AM
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From a personal point of view, there isn't a set definition of what a successful relationship is composed of. But the way I see it, I think a relationship, successful or not should revolve around trust and respect. A relationship would need understanding, care, honesty and truth. However, just because a relationship has all of these characteristics doesn't guarantee it will be successful.
Coming from a person who doesn't think there is one meaning of anything, but many meanings of everything, I think that a successful relationship can't be measure or defined.
As for teen relationships, I think they do play an important role, but not necessarily in a way where one must have a teenage relationship in order to have the experience. Regardless of the fact that hardly any of them last, it is an experience that allows all of us to see what being in a personal relationship is all about. But there is no way of saying whether or not it is the "right" kind of experience. Nobody can answer that question, it's based on opinion.
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Theo Rosenfeld
连接： Apr 11, 2002
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success and failure depend on what your goals are
July 13, 2002 - 10:15 AM
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I will share a bit of my personal experience here. I had a number of relationships as a teen, from one night stands up to a one year monogamous relationship. Some of them brought me great pleasure, some great pain, most a mixture of both. Looking back, none of them look very successful, but they were all worth the experience. At the age of 19 I met somebody who was to become my life partner/business partner/lover/roommate/best friend. It is over four years later and we are still brimming over with love for each other. She is 9 years older than me and was married when we met, and we were roommates. Our relationship broke all the rules and standard codes of conduct ? we were downright stupid from any logical point of view. But love is not about logic. Now we have lived together in two different countries, travelled, worked, and grown together ? we fight, but it always ends up helping get to know each other better. We have a sexually ?open? relationship, run a business together, and are currently taking care of my 16 y/o brother ? enduring challenge together has become something of a sport. We love each other as much (or more) than we ever did. It feels like success to me, but all things are temporal?
As with other things in life one can grow from ones unsuccesses, but only with attentive self-reflection. Some very smart people make the same mistakes repeatedly (especially when it comes to relationships). If there is any one thing I would say means the most to me it is die-hard, gut-wrenching, radical honesty. I struggle to squeeze every bit of honesty I can into my relationship with myself and the people I love. It is so far my experience that no matter how uncomfortable I feel saying something, saying it never makes things worse. It doesn?t always make it better, or more comfortable, but it never makes things worse.
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Mike
连接： Aug 31, 2001
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国家：Australia
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the key...
July 13, 2002 - 11:09 AM
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I think Its time to redress the original question this thread posed to the TIG community.
What IS the key to a successful relationship.
In my opinion, its entirely up to who the people are. Perhaps a love of coffee is enough to do it for some people, perhaps being friends first, perhaps its all to do with the way you look at each other.
At the end of the day, everything to do with relationships is entirely up to the people involved.
Yes?
- - -
Pred.
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Marie
连接： May 15, 2002
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国家：Canada
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yay! Let's talk about relationships.....
July 16, 2002 - 05:52 AM
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Hey everyone!
I've never before posted a reply on TIG, and I'm so happy JessAnn has started a topic I find very interesting.
What is the key to a successful relationship? Love, ofcourse. Sound corny? Maybe so. No matter what kind of relationship you are trying to pursue, without love, a relationship will not last.
What is love? Please allow me to share with you my favourite list of the characteristics of love:
-Love is patient, love never gives up.
-Love is kind, caring more about others than for self.
-Love does not envy, meaning it does not want what it does not have.
-Love does not boast, you know, walk with a strut.
-Love is not proud, doesn't have a big old swole-up head.
-Love does not push itself upon others.
-Love is not always "me first".
-Love does not fly off the handle.
-Love does not keep score of all the mistakes you have made.
-Love does not revel when others grovel.
-Love takes pleasure when truth is made known.
-Love puts up with things
-Love always looks for the best
-Love never looks back, but keeps going, keeps pressing on, until the end.
Some of that may sound "pie-in-the-sky", but consider your favourite relationships, the ones that make you feel good and where you can uplift the other person. I'm so certain that you will find these characteristics of love in that relationship.
So, love is the key to any succesful relationship.
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Marie
连接： May 15, 2002
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Are teen relationships a waste of time?
July 17, 2002 - 11:59 AM
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Ummm, no? But I have a feeling that the kind of relationship I'm referring to is different from the sort JessAnn is asking about.
I believe that our youth is the age when we have many developmental stages to concentrate on, like school, family relationships, friendships, and learning how to function in a society that's pretty far from the Utopia we would prefer. And because of all the growing and changing we do during our youth, I would say that deep, serious, one-on-one relationships are not entirely neccessary.
Friendships, the real, lasting ones that are based on love (whether said or unsaid) have all the emotional elements that we need as "experiences" that will help us to know what we are looking for when it comes to our life partner. I don't believe there is any reason to "have to" experience heart-ache. I don't agree with "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" when it comes to teen dating. It's better to love your friends in an open and extravagant fashion, committing all that you can into cultivating an uplifting environment for yourself and your friends.
Family is also very important. The relationship you cultivate with your parents or guardians, as well as with your siblings, will echo into the relationship you will one-day share with your partner. It's very nice when the adults in our lives treat each other with respect and love, because then we have a model relationship to enjoy, but some of us don't have that model in our lives. It is up to us to keep our eyes open for relationships in all the individuals involved are truly happy, I mean, even in the sad, no-money-only-buns-for-dinner times.
And school! Definitely completing highschool, and then following whatever educational path you choose as post secondary is far more important than allowing yourself to be knocked off-course by a less-than-permanent partner. if you feel that a serious, commited relationship is something that is for you, it is a very good idea to build yourself into the person you want to be, you know, gather together all the "ingredients" of who you are so that when you and your "person" come together, you will make a yummy cake.
*groan*
Seriously, build yourself into the person you are as an individual, so that you know what you bring into any relationship. Cultivating your friendships, your family relationships, and educational goals will help you discover who you are.
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Jennifer H.
连接： Jul 9, 2002
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性别和年龄： 女性, 22
国家：United States
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I agree with mcstardancer!
July 18, 2002 - 12:12 PM
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I think that teens need some kinds of relationships, but romantic ones are not really necessary. How are we supposed to be able to have a serious relationship when many of us don't know what we want for our lives, or even who we are at this point? I think that one should get to know and love themselves before they think about getting into a serious romantic relationship with another.
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