Ernest Asiedu Caesar
Joined: Jan 7, 2004
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Gender & Age: Male & 29
Country: Ghana
Province/State: Greater Accra
City: Accra
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Strategies for Handling Sexual Feelings
April 3, 2004 - 09:15 AM
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Strategies for Handling Sexual Feelings
Because sexual feelings are powerful and confusing, think ahead. Making a decision before the situation demands one is helpful.
Many teens write a pledge to themselves to practice abstinence, the decision not to engage in sexual activity. Others have joined campaigns to sign papers making that commitment. Over 200,000 teens have signed such contracts, and thousands more sign each month. These teens recognize that the question is not "what is everybody else doing?" but "what’s right for me?"
Other techniques can help teen handle sexual pressures. Practicing refusal skills is one. This is a way to be ready in advance for troublesome times. Going out in groups and in public rather than being alone with a partner is also helpful. So is spending time at home only when other family members are there too.
You have a right to make your own choices about sexual activity and to communicate them. Talking to your partner makes your wishes clear. The decision will be easier for both of you if you say what you want clearly and honestly. Many teens are relieved to learn that their partner agrees. Having discussed the matter together, couples find it easier to exercise self-control, a person’s ability to use sense to over-rule emotions. Teens who are too embarrassed to discuss their feelings and wishes honestly are not emotionally ready for sex.
Following these guidelines doesn’t mean that teens cannot show affection. Because love is much more than sexual activity, however, there are other ways to express it. Holding hands and hugging are physical ways. Listening to another person’s feelings and dreams are emotional ways. In fact, touching someone emotionally, just by doing something nice or by being there when needed, can be very rewarding- for both people. Moments of emotional sharing are the happiest parts of many relationships.
Pride in Yourself
Good feelings come to those who live by their convictions. Many teens who have given in to sexual pressures experience remorse afterward. Going against personal values can lead to harm as well as disappointment in yourself. You are smart enough to make a wise decision on your own, one that is in your best interest. When you act according to positive values, you can feel proud that you are in control of your life
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