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Adeyemi Adisa
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Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 7, 2004 - 09:54 AM
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In the world of youths today many cases of casual sex is rampant, mostly exercised by teens, and my question is that should it be encouraged or discouraged? Looking at it from a more suitable and reasonable angle, one will find out that most of these teens go into sex just to feel amongst while others go just because of the urge and remember they say its natural because as one grows one begins to feel sensations and the urge to have sex.
Indeed most teens get involved in sexual activities because of peer pressure & out of curiousity. However, a greater number get involved in such activities because they are searching for some form of reassurance & love. This issue is a very sensitive one that some people considered to be very important and God created it to take place within the confines of a marriage in order to seal the love between a husband & wife.
Also, some people see sex at younger age to be very destructive to the weaker sexes and if care is not taken, it may prove to be a long-term predicament. Furthermore, they say sex under the wrong circumstances tends to destroy female and reduce their self worth. Many people also talk about unwanted pregnancy and sorts of sexually transmitted diseases which may be the consequence of having at younger age.
But in all, how can one aviod it and what precious if there is any, is in having sex prematurely...?
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Brian Smith
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 7, 2004 - 01:02 AM
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Yours is a very difficult question... The effects of teenage sex are difficult to gage. However before western influences the entire world, you must ask what is the average length of life where the question is being asked...
If the average life expectancy was (hypothetically) 30, then teenage sex is expected and is the norm, almost have your life is over when you turn 13. Again if the Age is 60, then a quater of your life is over by 15 and copulation is need just to make sure that species continues.
Western values have the age expectancy of about 80 years, this extends all periods everything in life. This means that teenage sex becomes less acceptable because we are meant to keep our innocence longer. Procreation is not needed until later on.
The other thing we should distinguish the difference between teenage sex which is an age issue, and extramarital sex which is a more religious question.
These interpretations see sex as a purely biological function. I do not see sex as just biological, there are intangibles that need to be addressed. How do you feel about teenage sex?
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Cséfalvay Kristóf
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 7, 2004 - 03:22 AM
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I agree with Brian in the fact of your question being both difficult to answer and, still, of crucial importance to the Western society as a whole.
Love, as the dearest of all emotions, involves a great deal of sensuality - and so is it well. But sensuality is bound with the necessity of recognizing the dangers it can lead to - unexpected pregnancies, shattered family life, even suicide attempts. So the problem is not that of teenage sex, it is that of responsibility. In my opinion, it's all about responsibility for the well-being of the partner, and about valuing the well-being of the partner at least as high as the own well-being and joy.
I will post the second part of my write-up later, I'm in a hurry.
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Britty
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sex....:)
January 7, 2004 - 09:46 AM
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We need to look at the basic psychology behind sex. When puberty begins, the human body is ready to reproduce. Once a teenager reaches this point, sexual feelings are difficult from which to run away. Should we be censoring the teenage population because it's "appropriate" to wait until marriage, or at least until they're 18 (the law)?
But why is this law instituted? Because popular opinion took over the traditions of the past. Women used to marry at the ages of twelve and thirteen. Now, so many rules regulate society to bow down to an ideal of "no early sex". Suddenly, it's irresponsible begin reproducing when your body is ready.
Just thinking about the raw materials. Why do we have sex in the first place? It's instinct. I think we, as a society, need to do what we've pretty much been doing. Not encouraging sex, but making sure that those who do have sex protect themselves if it is not their intention to reproduce.
*sits*
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Britty
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 8, 2004 - 06:41 AM
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I didn't quite mean "instinct" as a necessarily primal emotion. The masculine word can also be interpereted as simply doing what feels right. Many modern teenagers, like myself, feel right to do things in certain situations--relationships, for instance. Is that not instinct?
To say that man has evolved into a more intelligent, less primal, modern human is direct truth.
But to say that instinct is gone... is simple ignorance.
Feelings of love and closeness vary from relationship to relationship. Many teenagers partake in sex because it excites them, makes them feel wanted without any strings attatched. Sex is not always making love.
That is why I believe that such "opinions" and downright cruel behaviour to those who choose to lose virginity during their teenage years -- is simply an imposition to human rights.
It should be easier not to judge those whose decisions cannot be made undone. That is why I believe what I believe.
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Rene Ortiz
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 8, 2004 - 09:07 AM
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Personally, I have a fairly split opinion on this. I think things like sex ed, should be taught and that sex shouldn't be thrown back into the closet it's been in, up until around the 80's. We should talk about sex, it's a part of life that is never ever going to go away.
However, I think instead of censoring the amount of sex being shown to adolescents and teens, we should be conter-acting it by teaching them self respect. For example, teaching little girls that they don't have to dress like Britney Spears to be cool, popular and accepted in this world. Instead of saying "no, no, no, we can't have people going around dressed like that" we should be teaching the youth of today that they don't have to, that it's all about respecting ones self and ones body. But on the other hand I don't agree with having an insane amount of sex everywheres (Dirrty and Slave 4 U videos come to mind) there are some things that should be kept for the bedroom and not thrown out in the public to be viewed by everyone and their dog. There is something to be said about decency. For example, I don't mind the MATM video or Janet or Madge videos because sex isn't displayed every second of the songs, like with Janet, she dresses provocativly but not enough to say that she's being indecent. As long as the things in the media don't need a rating of NC-17 to watch a commerical we should conteract the amount showed by teaching respect, but if it's just blatent, flat-out porno it should be kept for the bedroom.
Although, I have left out one key point in my agruement. Sex sells. Why do you think Britney Spears has become so famous? for her singing abilities? I don't think so. Sex will, has, and does intrigue the masses. Whenever someone mentions sex in a room people instantly perk up and pay attention. For example, one another board I frequent, a thread called "Free Porno" has had the highest amount of views of just about any other thread, the person used that name to get their thread noticed, why? Because people are drawn to the powers of sex. I do not know why, maybe someone here does, but the best way for me to explain it is that it's just a rule of the universe.
I still stand by my past comment though, that by teaching people self respect the amount of sexually active teens would drastically go down because they wouldn't feel the pressure as much as they do now.
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Oloka Obbo Odongo
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 8, 2004 - 09:08 AM
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Answering the above question seems to be eassy but abit difficult, leaving the biological factor constant, teenage sex has been promoted by parnographic industries and permissiveness among teenage, the parnographic materials have changed or exposed the real facts about sex to teenage and as such they also tend to visit the lab. now befor we discourage or ecourage teenage sex, we must first point our gans to parnographic industries. Infact in AFrica , the so called teenage sex was un heard of until the cropping up of parnography in our societies.
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Cséfalvay Kristóf
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The Second Part (Let's hope it won't get a trilogy)
January 8, 2004 - 12:41 PM
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Zvezdy, in some points, you're completely and absolutely right - especially about your point of the psychology behind it. But I'd like to post my remarks to your reply.
First, the fact that sex brings joy is an undisputable one. Yet, the ability to see not only the immediate joy but also the effects of his/her actions is the one that distinguishes a sentient human being from an animal. It is responsibility that makes us human, and only by abiding our responsibilities to our partner can we uphold the innocence of love, that most beautiful thing on earth.
You think maybe I stress responsibility all too much and I'm too conservative with emotions. Yes, maybe you're right. But I have seen young lives full of hope at once destroyed by premature pregnancy, I have seen what irresponsible behavior can cause, I have seen the effects of the lack of responsibility that is so widespread in our societies.
Zvezdy, you wrote about instincts being the prime reason for sex. I think this is utterly wrong, if you excuse me. I think man has overcome this level already, I think the role of instincts is by far suppressed by emotions, affection for somebody and a yearning for happiness. I do really hope you don't make love to somebody because it's rooted in your instincts since the stone age but because it brings you pleasure and because you like to love and be loved.
In my opinion - but this is really only my opinion, and I don't press anyone to accept it -, the best way is still no sex before marriage. But in this one point, opinions might differ, and it is necessary to acknowledge that we are not all the same.
Yet, Zvezdy's proposal to make sure that those who do not intend to "reproduce" (such a bad word... takes all the romantic parts)protect themselves.
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Cséfalvay Kristóf
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Stasiagirl's right!
January 9, 2004 - 01:37 AM
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I completely agree with Stasiagirl in her opinion about the issue.
Many of you have put up the issue of sex ed. It is, of course, a good and necessary thing to teach kids in schools how to deal with the matter.
Yet, it is no solution.
You cannot teach people responsible behavior. But you can socialize the youth so that it holds responsibility for others in higher esteem. And that would be a duty worthy of any great state - worthier than making senseless wars.
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Stasia
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 9, 2004 - 02:03 AM
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I think sex should be discouraged to teens. Not because it's up-tight, conservatist, and goes against the trend. Sex should be discouraged to teens because the emotional turmoil it brings and the consequences they have to face afterwards is overwhelming. I've had some sort of sexual experience. At the time I loved it. But now, six months later, I'm rolling about in embarrassment and regret. Sex, and the pleasures that it brings, is no longer worth it when one must face such burdenous consequences.
Sex edu is good in that it brings awareness to teens, but i've noticed that it doesn't seem to be very effective. We are aware but we don't really seem to care. However, I do not have any suggestions to offer to better sex education.
I agree with Brian. Now when I look at sex, I say to myself, "I have a lot of life to live. Sex can wait."
So here's another teen's perspective.
Thanks and adieu.
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Stasia
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 9, 2004 - 02:45 AM
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zveszdy, i agree. simply discouraging teens wouldn't really bring anything. but that isn't the point because the topic is: to discourage or encourage teens. and i say discourage because it's better than encouraging. at least if wiser ppl caution teens about sex, teens can't say we didn't tell em.
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Britty
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 9, 2004 - 07:09 AM
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I'd really like to think that simply discouraging a teen about having sex would really work. But, the fact is, teens rebel. If you lock your dog up, he'll pee on the carpet. If you, the king, do not feed your people, they will revolt.
From my standpoint, we cannot protect the teenage society by discouraging sex. Personal feelings of regret, for having been sexual with someone are just that--personal.
Take for instance, Stasiagirl. She regrets being sexual with someone. But here's a question--Do you blame it on the lack of discouragement from sex-ed teachers?
Consequences are a part of life. Perhaps if we just let statistics show their magic, teens will realize that they don't have give in to society and do what 'feels natural' (earlier--post on inctinct).
Simply put, we should allow people to figure things out for themselves. Even in your adult age, you will feel regret for having been sexual with someone. Again, it's a simple part of life...get used to it.
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Rachelle
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Re: Teenage sex should be discouraged or encouraged?
January 12, 2004 - 09:44 AM
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I dont think it is a matter of encouragement or discouragement. Regardless of either, sex will happen. It is a matter of educating. The real issue is education, or the lack there of, in regards to sex. Instead of preaching abstinence, we need to be teach responsible decision making. We NEED to teach the youth to make the decisions that are right for them, if that decision is to have sex or not. We need to teach them risks involved with the activities in which they might engage and teach them how to make sex safeR (<-- safe sex does not exist, but you can reduce risks and make it safer). We need to encourage youth to learn and to speak freely.
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Adeyemi Adisa
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Beautiful!
January 19, 2004 - 05:19 AM
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"We NEED to teach the youth to make the decisions that are right for them, if that decision is to have sex or not. We need to teach them risks involved with the activities in which they might engage and teach them how to make sex safeR (<-- safe sex does not exist, but you can reduce risks and make it safer). We need to encourage youth to learn and to speak freely."
Chelle...
That is a beautiful suggestion in ensuring teenagers actually didn't experence the negat ive side of having sex prematurely. I think as you said, teenagers need to be more educated on what we or they called SEX because of their vulrability and might help in reducing the rate of unwanted pregnance, sexually transmitted etc. But what sort of education do teenagers need on sex? Is it on how to have sex, where and when?
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eva gatwiri
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All about SEX
January 19, 2004 - 05:50 AM
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As an African teenage sex was never an issue until modernisation and influence of western values. As an adolescent you were told all about sex and what to do when the time came. Most african cultures insisted on virginity till marriage. Then, enter "civilisation" and everything fell apart!! we (all of us) have been socialised to think that we cannot do without sex, and that to be with "it" (whatever it is) we have to have had some.
this is a wrong docrine that we may all want to accept because we will blame it on the media and changing moral standards, but it is up to an individual.
I personally think that sex is like the oxygen we breath, it is so special that we dont pay for it. It will always be there!! so whats wrong with waiting??? Unlike animals it doesnt become extinct so I personally have no problem with abstinence.
Again, we have to learn from peoples mistakes. We all know someone who has suffered lifetime consequences from a few seconds of pleasure (abortions, pregnancy, school dropout etc). My friends have been caught up in such troubles and I would be foolish if I couldnt learn from there mistakes.
But this is my point of view!!!
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