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Ruby Ngo
Joined: Feb 8, 2006
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Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 05:41 AM
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"The fate of woman"-this phrase used to talk about the life of women in feudal system.But even the feudalism is no longer exist in this modern world anymore, the cruel meaning of that phrase seems still exist in here...
When I was a child, my teacher gave us a homework with topic"describe your mother". I described my mother as what I saw : " mother always smile; mother drives motorbike very fast; mother is a good teacher, too many students love my mother; mother doesn't scare anything in the world...". My deskmate's mother is a baker, so he described his mother more interesting than mine : "mother is fat; mother's body always smell like cake...". Teacher just gave us 4 mark. When I asked her the reason why, she told me to write like Yen. And then she read Yen's homework out load to the class. I don't remember much , but maybe something like : " In the midnight, mother embroiders the shirt for members of family; mother is so thin; early morning, mother wears an old shirt and goes to the farm to work...". I asked teacher : "My family don't have a farm, my mother always buy clothes for me from shop, so why must I write like Yen?". She answered : " Then you have to image about it. It's exactly image of mother!!!". I was obsessed by that answer until now. Image of mother? Mother of crowd, or that is what the crowd want to see??
When I grown up, I was teached that a girl have to know the four attributes of an ideal woman ( industry, appearance, speech, behavior). I have to do the housework, I have to make concessions, sacrifice for husband and family. I have to... I have to...
And now, when I'm adult, I realized these things are very useful for me in this modern life. Why? Because I am living in a social where everyone get the same thought : woman belong to family!! What will happen if I don't be that kind of woman? Nothing happen!! Maybe I just hard to get married. Why it's hard to get married? Because most of Vietnamese men don't know cooking, and they're afraid of getting married with a woman who doesn't know doing housework !! Why they're afraid of it?
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Ruby Ngo
Joined: Feb 8, 2006
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Re: Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 05:42 AM
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Because they were teached that "housework is women's business". If a woman doesn't know it, so she cannot be a good wife, even she's talent or smart. Everyone praise the hero's mother, the good-at-housework woman, but not much people praise a woman who good at earning money or succedd in job. And if there's any, I'm sure that when they look at her success, they will give a question " how about her family?". It seems a conditional reflex of Vietnamese. they always assess the success of women by their family , but not their job.
And we can find out a formula of Vietnamese women : an ideal vietnamese woman = sacrifice for husband + care about family + diligently...
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Ruby Ngo
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Re: Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 05:44 AM
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The period of feudal system has passed for a very long time, but that formula is still exist in Vietnamese's brain. Vietnamese men are so smart and conservative, they don't do housework ( the things which they think " women's business". So afterall, women have to do it.( If women don't do it, so who will do it?)
Compared to some countries in the world, Vietnamese women seems happier because they can get respect and equality. But it's a kind of dangerous, because Vietnamese men are very clever. They tie women by sweety words. they seduce women to do these things, then women will be praised by them. In fact, what will women get without that vain appellation? Maybe nothing. But women still feel so happy. Why do they happy? Because they were teached that's their happiness.
And I think, when that thought still exist, the phrase "fate of woman" still keep the meaning of it- a not very good meaning but popular. I hope someday that phrase will disapear. Because fate of human is not a vain-value which is given by the crowd, but something we ourselves want and try the best to gain it
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Suneboy
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Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 01:45 PM
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That happens in the childhood, i also used to study the words in the book and bihard them. that time i didnt get the actual meaning of the world i was reading, but now i remember those days and the meaning of what i read before, it remains as a nostalgic memories and make me laugh sometimes.
The man are might not get afraid but ger harrashed of cooking themselves and feed to his childrens and sopuse.
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sun-e-boy
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Yashoda
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Re: Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 03:20 PM
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 Fate of women!!!!!!!!
Its to supress women, depress them and bind them in four walls of a house. Its the truth of developing countries where the girls are still not able to go to the school and get education.
So it may rightly be called "Fate of Girl" that she should take birth in rich family, society or country to develop herself.
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Romina Abachi
Joined: Feb 26, 2009
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Re: Fate of woman
April 10, 2009 - 11:55 PM
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But when you think about it, it's the same everywhere. I mean... come on... women have to take care of the family, do the housework, cook, support the family, spend time with the kids, and put a smile on even when the times are bleak. It seems like this will never change... I mean as a 15 year-old girl ready to enter the world independently, the only future I see for myself is that of my mother's and every other woman I see busied with everyday work that goes unappreciated. Is there no other "fate" for women? Are we just doomed to spend our adult life in a semi-pointless struggle to get the family through another day? I know it's a hard job and I realize I could not have gone through life without all the sacrifices my mother made but ... it just seems so monotonous...
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Stefane
Joined: Oct 14, 2009
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Re: Fate of woman
October 15, 2009 - 04:18 PM
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Romina72 wrote:
But when you think about it, it's the same everywhere. I mean... come on... women have to take care of the family, do the housework, cook, support the family, spend time with the kids, and put a smile on even when the times are bleak. It seems like this will never change... I mean as a 15 year-old girl ready to enter the world independently, the only future I see for myself is that of my mother's and every other woman I see busied with everyday work that goes unappreciated. Is there no other "fate" for women? Are we just doomed to spend our adult life in a semi-pointless struggle to get the family through another day? I know it's a hard job and I realize I could not have gone through life without all the sacrifices my mother made but ... it just seems so monotonous...
This has been our fate thus far in society. However, not every woman's fate is like this. I know a lot of women who work more than their husbands. I know that their husbands don't mind doing housework or cooking while their wife works. Likewise, when the wife does not have a job they will get one and the wife will then switch to housework and cleaning.
It does sound like a pointless, monotonous struggle to always have to do housework and carry the family along, but at the same time, if you truly love your family you don't mind it as much, right? There are ways of working past the boring parts of that lifestyle if you can make it work for you.
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Kate23
Joined: Oct 28, 2009
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Re: Fate of woman
December 1, 2009 - 11:13 PM
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A woman's fate can only be determine by the woman. She decides what she wants to do and does it. Some women opt for a career while others opt for the family life. Others are able to juggle both. What is important is that you love what you do and you are happy with it.
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Kate
MedifastHealth.org
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Elaine Cohen
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Re: Fate of woman
December 4, 2009 - 01:48 PM
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In a time when I see on TV, and movies from around the world, The FATE of Women
it seems to be fack men.
Mother is the center of living humans
they used to call it Holy from the Womb
But now, Women are just sex obects that know how to clean and cook.
I can not understand why Women are allowing themselves to be classed under a Sci/Fi book called the Stephord Wives
where their husbands had them copyed into Drowns to smile, and feed and bed them. without complaint
Women have been exploted, threw ever means that is possible.
What is the Fate of Women, who know understand this and Question if it not a good time, to not allow this in their own lifes.
Freedom has a price, all things of Great Value do.
But to put yourself, under deress for the sake, of culture, is now being Questioned!!!
Once women were considered the source of life!
To a Healthy Future
Love'
E
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Casey
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Re: Fate of woman
January 14, 2010 - 05:55 PM
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If you look at US history, it's clear that many of the most successful reform movements (abolitionist, welfare, civil rights) are the ones that are spearheaded by women. Women getting involved in politics usually results in expanding the domestic sphere to a global scale, which often results in much needed societal reforms. The same is true in developing countries; many donors of aid are giving it to women, whom they feel are less likely to spend it on themselves than men. While I am all for women's rights (being a woman and all), I realize that they are often impossible to attain in the masculine governments that dominate the world. That being said, countries in which women are more empowered tend to have higher literacy rates and are generally better. As long as women continue to exercise these characteristics and improve their countries if they have the means to do so, then the fate of women will be a positive one.
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