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cassie carpenter
beigetreten: Sep 21, 2004
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sex before marriage?
September 21, 2004 - 09:11 AM
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marriage to me may be very special to some people but i feel you dont need a piece of paper to say that you love someone,and sex before marriage is a good thing you dont want to be really nervous with your husband if you havent had sex yet.having sex gives you experience for the next person you have a relationship with as long as you love the person you are with it will be special and to be honest you dont need to have saved yourself for someone to make it special.
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Crystal_Abongta
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Re: sex before marriage
September 21, 2004 - 12:10 PM
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So far, in this thread, we’ve had those who demonstrated a sense of direction, those who have some tendons of their hearts weaved into the fabrics of worthiness and we’ve unfortunately had those who have their brains in-between their legs. They say its good for diversity, but then we are warned to stay clear of the small-minded people or they would drag us down to their deplorable status.
The first thing we all have to learn is that moral truths are absolute. Over the years, experience has thought me (and I guess many other reasonable people) that what is popular is not necessarily what is right and vice-versa.
The problematic here is whether sex should be condoned before marriage. All moral truths (irrespective of what the irrational sex fanatics would have to say) hold that sex should be reserved for marriage. This is the crystal clear fact that is unconditional; it’s not debatable under any circumstance. Reserve sex for marriage period.
People might put forward justifications why sex is ok before marriage, why we need experience in marriage blab bla bla… marriage is constructed on trust and purity, not on the skills of sex maniacs. I would want to know that my partner had a clean sexual past, that she kept her self off the hooks of sex mongers. I wonder if I would want to get into the hands of a woman (I am male excuse me) who’ve been to bed with every thing in pants. I don’t need your past experience in bed because love is not a function of experience in sex. I need a wife with whom we would get experienced over time in humility and with all due respect.
Hey! I am not preaching anyway and to cut a long story short, sex before marriage is unconditionally forbidden no matter what is on the drive or popular. Getting married as a virgin is one of the best gifts you can offer your spouse. Don’t listen to the big mouth beside you who comes singing ‘love’ in return for some sex favors.
Getting, married to a woman who’ve been into sex all her life is like trying to squeeze some juice out of orange leftovers when an orange tree is nearby. You only need to climb and get fresh and pure oranges from the other tree for a good taste.
I need not tell you that crossing bridges before you get there often ends up with adverse effects.
I am waiting for the jerks of the sex-whacks we have here as I am sure they would go crying out…..
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Peculiar
beigetreten: Sep 3, 2004
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Re: sex before marriage
September 21, 2004 - 12:40 PM
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Originally posted by Ubono2carpediem
sexual intercourse is not only physical but spiritual as well. that is what i find to be very amazing about sex: the fact that once you have experienced it, the two of you are one. you have shared something so incredibly intimate with one another, and not only your bodies are connected intimately, but your spirits as well. One does not know for sure that the person he/she is dating will be the one that they marry (and i should add that i believe marriage is a lifelong thing, which is such a strong commitment of love that it blows my mind: for the other person to some times get on your nerves so terribly bad (living together defeinitely provides conflicts, no?)yet you still love them with all your heart and learn to share your life with them through the difficulties)
Interesting,
Sexual intercourse is both of physical and spiritual and this is reason why one must be very very very careful. One who have sex with other while not marry sin against his soul and his or her God.
From my quote b above, we should allow God to choose our life patner for us and stop choosing by sight.
In addition I want us to seriously medidate on this quote "You see, in this story the couple has yet to experience one of the greatest creations in life"
Thanks.
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Ashraf
beigetreten: Jan 31, 2004
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Re: sex before marriage
September 29, 2004 - 03:48 AM
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Yes to sex in marriage!
No to adultery!
No to pre-marital sex!
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tim
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very well then
September 29, 2004 - 05:04 AM
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i'm glad to see this thread is still active (somewhat..) my views on sex and marriage are still the same. people change, their views, beliefs, preferences, everything. and it has been a while since i posted, so i thought i should inform the readers still out there that... i am sticking to my committment of saving sex for that one special woman. by the way, i have actually had chances to give in to my sexual desires, but i have remained true to my beliefs. it is possible, believe it or not, to overpower those incredibly strong urges.
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Crystal_Abongta
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very well then
September 30, 2004 - 08:49 AM
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Originally posted by Ubono2carpediem
i'm glad to see this thread is still active (somewhat..) my views on sex and marriage are still the same. people change, their views, beliefs, preferences, everything. and it has been a while since i posted, so i thought i should inform the readers still out there that... i am sticking to my committment of saving sex for that one special woman. by the way, i have actually had chances to give in to my sexual desires, but i have remained true to my beliefs. it is possible, believe it or not, to overpower those incredibly strong urges.
It is a wonderful commitment you have there and keep up, never give up on it no matter what the slanderers would try to tell you. You would never regret or lose any one bit of your dignity if you do what you are determined to do.
Those who want to keep having premarital sex can keep on having it that is their own waterloo.
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h
beigetreten: Sep 12, 2004
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my idea
September 30, 2004 - 10:19 AM
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in my country most of the people are conservative. Having sex before marriage is a very big sin. And too many girls don't do it before marriage. but boys always do it before.
the thing i would like to complain about is the behaviour of some girls. i can mention it as a kind of silly cheat that they live a sexual life also they keep their virginity, they kiss touch and more!(for example from the back side) (very sorry but i couldn't find another expression)i think this is a silly behaviour this is not a real virginity.they wait for a husband.
i don't think like that. my women can do it earlier i don't care about the virginity. the important thing is my feelings. when i fall in love i can marry. the only need is the love. (most of the people in turkey against me)
having sex is a very romance moment. don't need a marriage i guess. the bodies can do it with out some paper works but with romantizm.
my another tought about this subject.
with out romantizm don't do guys. it is not a kind of thing like having lunch. it must not be!
some people can do it earlier some people can wait i don't mind both. it is their opinion.
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Udara
beigetreten: Dec 10, 2003
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Re: sex before marriage
December 19, 2004 - 05:59 AM
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>Getting, married to a woman who’ve been into sex all her >life is like trying to >squeeze some juice out of orange >leftovers when an orange tree is nearby. You >only need to >climb and get fresh and pure oranges from the other tree >for a good >taste.
Abagonda. I don’t think I can agree with you here, a person being a virgin or not a virgin matters in love, I don’t think so !
Accordingly to your analogy of squeezing juice out of an orange, implications are that women are fruits for men to be squeezed out of sexual pleasures, and virgins are
fresh fruits while non virgins are used left overs.
I think that is a disgrace for humanity, people do not marry for the single purpose of having sex, sex is just a part of the marriage life, but understanding plays the vital role.
While I would NOT argue for pro pre-marital sex, i still would like to add few thoughts on few things written here.
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Reubertochter
beigetreten: Nov 28, 2004
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Re: sex before marriage
January 6, 2005 - 09:03 AM
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i havent read all the posts, but id stll like to have my say-
i think that once two people are in love and they feel it is time to go onto a higher stage- have sex- then it is time. Just because you dont marry sumone doesnt mean you dont love them seriously. (at that moment at least)
I belive sex is something unique, it is a PARt of the people having it. So if someone loves someonelse, why shud he or she wait lets say another 15 years?
If you marry someone, and have sex, of course it is a new element in their marriage. There is a new bond. Just because someone had sex before marriage doesnt mean this isnt going to something new, different and maybe adventurous. Each night with sumone you love is sumthing new. i dunno if i made myself clear...well that was my opinion.
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Amira Sobeih
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our choices / our needs
January 24, 2005 - 05:37 AM
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To think about Sex before marriage (ok or not):
I believe it depends upon our choices and how we arrange our needs:-
i.e. Do we put the sex as a first stage?
Or we put the character and personality as a practical demand/ first stage?
My self: I prefer to think about the personality first. And sure sex will come sooner or later. –don't worry. Just calm down-
Concern showing love: it could be by several means.
-for example:there is no need to kill anybody. When we talk about death-
Imagine. Close your eyes; you kissed your soul mate. And he/she couldn't give it back (may be can't; for any reason)
So you will forsake and leave her/him because of that.
It equals: saying: my friend has a broken arm. So we can't hug.
Oh man. Thanks Heaven: I'm grateful being human.
Thus;
I do believe ..(it is :splendid/ gorgeous /magnificent & charming)..after marriage.
And it'll be marvelous to discover the more about it day after day (with your soul mate).
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Amira Sobeih
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our choices / our needs
January 24, 2005 - 05:40 AM
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To think about Sex before marriage (ok or not):
I believe it depends upon our choices and how we arrange our needs:-
i.e. Do we put the sex as a first stage?
Or we put the character and personality as a practical demand/ first stage?
My self: I prefer to think about the personality first. And sure sex will come sooner or later. –don't worry. Just calm down-
Concern showing love: it could be by several means.
-for example:there is no need to kill anybody. When we talk about death-
Imagine. Close your eyes; you kissed your soul mate. And he/she couldn't give it back (may be can't; for any reason)
So you will forsake and leave her/him because of that.
It equals: saying: my friend has a broken arm. So we can't hug.
Oh man. Thanks Heaven: I'm grateful being human.
Thus;
I do believe ..(it is :splendid/ gorgeous /magnificent & charming)..after marriage.
And it'll be marvelous to discover the more about it day after day (with your soul mate).
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Reubertochter
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Re: sex before marriage
January 26, 2005 - 01:56 AM
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well the question is, just because u have sex before marriage, does it mean u dotn care about your partners perosnality and charachtor? mayb you love their perosnality and thats why you make love with them?
why is sex seen as some blind, not deep , "entertainment" abongta called people who have sex before marriage "sex maniacs"
yes, there are people who only think about sex and not abt the person they are having it with, but you cannot say that if you have sex before marriage you are some kind of sexcrazy freak. If you think the time is ripe, then it is.
I used to say the same, sex should be saved for after mariage, until i fell in love. ( i am still a virgin though, because i dont feel that the time is right yet, but i will not run off to the church to marry just so i can express my feelings on a higher stage to my partner.
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tim
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Re: sex before marriage
January 27, 2005 - 07:06 AM
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"I used to say the same, sex should be saved for after mariage, until i fell in love." -reubertochter
love. sex. they fit well together. when sex is conducted outside of love, i believe the problem rests here. in a way, love is marriage. if not, what is marriage? simply government documentation?? no... something deeper. i hope.
thus, i no longer (i suppose) ask the question, "should sex be saved for marriage?" Rather, i now pose the question, should sex be saved for love...
according to reubertochter, one can fall in love without already having had sex. my answer to my own question then, since it is possible to fall in love without knowing a person sexually, is that Yes, one should wait for love until having sex. find love, but be sure. i hope we don't rush into relationships, and naively give ourselves away.
be careful. be loveable. and finally, be sexual.
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SADASHIVAN
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Re: sex before marriage
February 21, 2005 - 04:06 AM
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Originally posted by Ubono2carpediem
of course it's not at all popular in our society to wait until marriage to have sex with your significant other, then again we should all think for ourselves and not just do the popular thing. I think sex should wait until marriage. You might say, why wait? To me, it seems more special, especially if you are both virgins, and plus the honeymoon would be all the more exciting. first of all, i feel that sex is the strongest point (at least physically) of a romantic relationship. i don't feel that we should waste that powerful love with a person whom we've dated for a couple months, especially if we don't know for sure that they will be our spouse in the future. marriage is the strongest point of commitment in a romantic relationship, so it just seems that sex should wait for its action until marriage comes along to shake its hand. to save your virginity for the one whom you marry is, i believe, saying "i love you" in one of the most powerful ways. what do you think?
As far as sex is concerned each of us is cheat, get attracted easily to good looks and gorgeous. Thus the desire enchants within to feel externally or internally whatever!!!!!!! Social binding is the tool that restricts us rather controls the freedom in order to differentiate us from animals. Link to this aticle:
http://www.sadashivan.com/carnalattraction/
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Saladin
beigetreten: Oct 1, 2002
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Re: sex before marriage
February 21, 2005 - 04:55 AM
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The discussion is just amazing!
The question is: What is the difference between sex after marriage and sex before marriage?
I believe that marriage itself, aims at protecting women; otherwise they can be easily abandoned by a lot of fast-enjoyment-seeking males in case of pre-marital sex.
That means that in sex before marriage,women are more likely to be abandoned by males, without really being able to gain any of their rights, concerning social dignity, and maybe financial support.
For me, I am 20,I don't have a girlfriend, I never had, I'm not willing to, I did not watch a single sex movie or any kind of pornography in my life-although I could do these things very easily, as lots of young people here in Egypt do that-,I am not willing to have any kind of pre-marital sex; it's my deliberate choice, my own commitment and way of having my own pure "spiritual" and "religious" life-I have the opportunity to do whatever I want after marriage; coz sex as a procedure is not that really different before or after marriage; hence I choose the one after marriage. Strictly speaking, I don't find any problem in that, for me.
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