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davyk
Joined: Jul 4, 2007
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Dealing with Death
October 6, 2008 - 06:26 AM
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have you ever lost someone close to you like one of your parents,siblings freind or just anyone you consider close to you?
I have just gone through such experience and i want to know how best to deal with.How to cope with the loss.
i hope to learn from you guys.....
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Shannon Monn
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 6, 2008 - 01:30 PM
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First, let me go over my own loss so you can see how to relate. I've lost both my grandmas whom I was closest to in my family, one I had to watch die slowly, another happened abruptly. Also, my mother is mentally disabled, so in a way thats an on going loss. I've also lost my dog that I've had for a good 10 years at least. For me personally, I would suggest keeping yourself mentally busy. Throw yourself into your work, schooling, etc. Not to neglect your feelings, but to keep them from being overwhelming. If you keep yourself focused on something else, than you deal with it a little bit at a time, until it seems manageable and you are more emotionally able to get a good handle on your grief. Also, cry at first, let it all out. Its better to get that break down done first than have it come at an unexpected time. Personally, I still deal with grief issues and anger issues, which I would recommend to confront head on within reason. For instance, my grandma June died about a yr ago from neglect in the rehab she was in. She was mending from surgery, started to have chest pains but the nurses decided the was just senile (age prejudice) and ignored her. The next morning she died and the doctor said if she wouldve come in when she first had the pains she would have lived. The rehab center got away with that and it still makes me angry that they can do that to someone else but because I'm not the primary caregiver I couldn't file a complaint. I'm sooo angry about that injustice. I also feel guilty because when she was in the hospital dying she kept asking for me but my phone was on silent and I didn't get the calls in time, and living with the guilt of not being there when she needed me still eats at me. For that, I have no advice. Logically, I know there was nothing I could do and that she would understand, but it doesn't erase the feeling.
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Hafiidhaturrahmah
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 7, 2008 - 10:37 AM
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yeah....i'v ever that
im join in HIV program and everyday is my scream day...i was so afraid to lose them
and I lose them. two of them just gone to the best place
pain...
but we could do nothing
just bless the best place for their life
(both f them died cz relaps V_V)
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davyk
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 9, 2008 - 06:44 AM
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thanks for the advice and sharing your experiences.
I have recently lost my Dad and im finding it difficult to deal with it.
the stress and the feeling of loss and all.
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Payabzai
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 9, 2008 - 09:00 AM
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Ya it is difficult when a loved one leaves for ever. But this is how it works, This life is short but life after death is forever.
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Mohamed Eid
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 15, 2008 - 01:30 AM
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We all judged death penalty, there is no way we can survive it. You know from generation to generation someone die and someone born, changing one group to another. But one thing, people may not give consideration why we die? Why don’t we utilize the very limited time we have in this world.
People are slaves their souls’ interest, no one take into account what is next death, except very very few people, who actually understood. I have experience such losing your lovely families; I can understand the sort of feeling that may face you, when you see this event. But every one has day, think about what you will prepare your day, don’t busy with this sort life.
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Pritam Shah
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 18, 2008 - 04:11 PM
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The sad thing is, most people do not recognize the delicacy and fragility that is life. It is unpredictable, unplanned, and, to some people, unforgiving. Some people choose to see the negativity in life all around them. And in retrospect, they do have a point. Society in today's world is very corrupt and very disheartening.
However, this is not to say that there isn't beauty and grace all around us. Recognizing the simple things in life, and realizing that the best things in life are indeed free and plentiful, is essential in living in today's world.
It is said that people do not appreciate life until they look death in the face for the first time, or lose a dear, beloved person close to them. I have had neither of these experiences, yet I have had this "eureka" moment. The sooner one has this moment, the better off they are in life. Because every day is truly a gift, and not grasping that concept until the day of reckoning is very sad thing, indeed.
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davyk
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Re: Dealing with Death
October 28, 2008 - 06:05 AM
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life is too short i have realise so dont wait till tommorrow to tell your loved one that "I LOVE YOU"
you wouldnt want to wish if you had done earlier on.
thanks for the words keep them rolling......
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Nikki
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Re: Dealing with Death
January 8, 2009 - 02:31 PM
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Over the past few years I've lost a lot of people that were close to me... nephew, aunts, uncles, mentor, friends. Unfortunately funerals seem to be the only time my family gets together anymore (but we still get together a lot). I really don't think there is one way to deal with grief. I think every experience with death is different and even when they affect the same person, they affect that person in different ways. I generally try to deal with it by plugging through, immersing myself in work and school and hoping that all the negativity will go away on its own. Other times I take off for a little while spend some time on my own. I think that the best way to deal with grief is to just act in a way that feels right to you. If you want to be alone, then spend some time alone. If you want to go out and celebrate the person's life then do that. Sorry I can't be of more help.
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