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Chika
beigetreten: Dec 24, 2003
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
December 14, 2007 - 09:22 AM
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Olowotee wrote:
@Africhika
I get the picture, that Fathers too should participate in this art of training. But, maybe you shouldn't have the mindset that it must be of equal input.
@All and Potential Fathers In The House! lol. . .
Pls and Please, learn to spend time with your loved ones. . .It's not enough to make phone calls, your presences and absence must be felt. These young ones really do need your support, love, care and ATTENTION!!!!.
This episode actually reminds me of an African family with a very busy Father! It happens that every morning, before the children wake up to go to School, the father is out of bed already and gone to work. . . .this happens every blessed weekdays and most weekends!!! He didn't realise it that he was deprieving his children the right of knowing him as their father!
And so, on this fateful day. . . .this busy father came back home not quite long he'd left the house because he forgot some important documents at home which he'd need in the office for the day! . . . Lo, to his utmost amazement. guess what one of the kids did when she saw him at the door? She ran back to her mother, shouting. . . . . . mummy, mummy you have a VISITOR!
This little lad actually thought that the daddy was a visitor, because she rarely knew him.
i agree with everything. But I don't agree with your statement, "I get the picture, that Fathers too should participate in this art of training. But, maybe you shouldn't have the mindset that it must be of equal input."
if the father is the head of the household, then he should make time to be in the household. God never intended for any one parent to spend more time with the children. it is dangerous to feel that fathers are not required to spend equal time with the children. the parenting of children must be equal between mother and father.
my father works a LOT but always spend equal time with us. EQUALITY is the keyword here.
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Olowoyeye Oluwatosin Anu
beigetreten: Oct 16, 2007
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
January 9, 2008 - 10:17 AM
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Africhika wrote:
i agree with everything. But I don't agree with your statement, "I get the picture, that Fathers too should participate in this art of training. But, maybe you shouldn't have the mindset that it must be of equal input."
if the father is the head of the household, then he should make time to be in the household. God never intended for any one parent to spend more time with the children. it is dangerous to feel that fathers are not required to spend equal time with the children. the parenting of children must be equal between mother and father.
my father works a LOT but always spend equal time with us. EQUALITY is the keyword here.
Happy New Year and welcome back to our discussion.  
This post was edited on: 2008-01-09 at 10:27 AM by: Olowoyeye Oluwatosin Anu
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Oliver Khakwani
beigetreten: Jul 27, 2008
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
September 2, 2008 - 07:13 PM
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I think fathers should definitely have an equal role in raising a child although obviously the nurture will be different from mothers'. The model in Scandinavia seems really good to me where parental leave is given together with at least 2 months reserved for the father.
As for the gap between teenagers and parents I think it has always been there because of different values. In French we read this play called L'Avare (the Miser) written in the 17th century and one of the central themes is the conflict of generations.
Then again, it probably depends on the parents and kids as well because some of my friends have really good relationships with their parents but I've found that despite being really close to my mum when I was younger in the last few years we've completely drifted apart. Part of it is definitely because of different values (I'm a bit of hippie and my parents miss the good old days of John Major and Margaret Thatcher) and I think having both parents as immigrants (dad from India, mum from China) makes the rift much more pronounced because of the cultural differences in our upbringings. Anyone else have the same problem?
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Payabzai
beigetreten: Oct 17, 2003
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
September 3, 2008 - 03:27 AM
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Well good topic to discuss, tnx salma.
i think the issue is completly based on the Culture and Tradition of people whom we want to discuss this issue with.. like in most of the Western world, we will find more Gap between Parents and their kids, It also depends on how parents deal with their kids, Should they be strick or let the kid be free and do wat ever the kid want....so all these facts makes the Gap either Wider or Nearer...
Secondly, Mother plays the best part in the life of a kid, but as nowadays women are busy with their all day work, and they are unable to spend time with their kids.
Conclusion: the more the parents spend more time with their kids the more the gap gets closer.
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David Miao
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
September 4, 2008 - 09:39 PM
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I agree, there is most definitely a gap between children and their parents.
From first hand experience, the times when the children grow up and when their parents grow up have changed and often parents compare their childhood with their childrens childhood, not realizing that times have changed.
This gap is even greater between children that are children to immigrants, since these children do not always uphold the language, culture and customs of their home country therefore creating a problem between them and their parents.
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Olowoyeye Oluwatosin Anu
beigetreten: Oct 16, 2007
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
September 5, 2008 - 06:14 AM
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Payab wrote:
Well good topic to discuss, tnx salma.
i think the issue is completly based on the Culture and Tradition of people whom we want to discuss this issue with.. like in most of the Western world, we will find more Gap between Parents and their kids, It also depends on how parents deal with their kids, Should they be strick or let the kid be free and do wat ever the kid want....so all these facts makes the Gap either Wider or Nearer...
Secondly, Mother plays the best part in the life of a kid, but as nowadays women are busy with their all day work, and they are unable to spend time with their kids.
Conclusion: the more the parents spend more time with their kids the more the gap gets closer.
I second to this!
In the real sense of it, present generation of young people are greatly affected by this.- --The busy-ness of mothers with their all-day work..
But, on the other side again, I wouldn't entirely blame MOTHERS for this mis-happenings, because it's the effect of bad economic situation. Hence, both parents need to work real hard to make ends meet! Putting food on the table, paying bills etc. are functions that women are now challenged to take up!
I think we all need a change for the best. Therefore, let's clamour for Better Governance, Better Economic Development and Status as these could inversely bridge this gap and mother won't have to be fully all-out trying to support father. ********
Parents (both mothers & father) who spend quality time with their kids are definitely investing in them. . . .and they are going to reap big. *
I remembered those days, when my mama was always there for us, unlike dad (who was always busy with work and comes in lately!!!). She was readily available to nurture, strenghten and instruct us. Those moments she spent in nurturing us has yielded great dividend and till date, we (children) still cherish her so much and appreciate those period she was always available to hear us out.
This post was edited on: 2008-09-05 at 06:17 AM by: Olowotee
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Shannon Monn
beigetreten: Jan 22, 2008
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Re: Parents and Teenagers Gap?
October 6, 2008 - 12:41 PM
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Yes there's a generation gap but I don't think that's really the issue. After all, people can often get along better with their grandparents than parents, making an even greater generation gap. I believe its more of an authority issue and parents not understanding their teenagers. Teens are at an age when they are suppose to be flexing their boundaries, getting ready to leave the proverbial nest, and with this often comes necessary conflict. Also, parents often don't understand the cognitive changes of teens. When they are kids they use concrete thinking where everything is black and white and parental "Because I say so" is enough. But this changes as the children develop and begin to question "Why?". Parents often become frustrated because the same responses don't work. Parents often get mad that teens are 'self-centered' but this is a mind set as well that develops when teens are learning to social monitor and are often not capable of seeing long term consequences (thus being reckless) or think of things from another perspective. Most individuals eventually develop this but if parents understand the mental capabilities of their teens then they are more likely to practice tolerance and understand their teens viewpoints.
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