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Shweta
Joined: May 20, 2006
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Are Men Changing?
June 29, 2007 - 01:02 AM
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In centuries of patriarchal society in India, boys/men grow up believing that they have the ultimate responsibility to protect and generate resources for their family. There is always a pressure to live up to this expectation for which they also often recieve special care.
A mother would want to ensure that the son does not have to be hassled about the household work because he has to be busy earning. And what is the product in the end? - A man who may not be able to cook,clean, stitch clothes, etc at home. He is only trained to use physical power (because thats the only thing that they have more than women at times!) and deal with the outside world because there are always women to deal with the world at home! The most common reason men can give for this is, " We were not asked to do such things. So we do not know how to. Of course! we can learn if we want to!"
But how many men actually get into the practical part of this thought?
What are your views?
More detailed article is on my blog, where some have shared their thoughts:
http://shweta-sj.tigblog.org/
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Jamal
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 29, 2007 - 01:40 AM
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as i have already commented in your blog...i would like to share that if you, me or anyone want a change he/she cannot do it by blaming a particular group or section....that they are not doing this", you are not changing yourself". with my experience of working on a gender equity project i can say that blaming only segrigate, it only devide. unless you recognise the efforts, appriciate their contribution for change it will not happen. from decades this blame game is continued by many feminist organisation in india...but does that changed anything in our society??? well i think it has not...
i would suggest you should read about a project named ISOFI at :http://www.icrw.org/html/projects/projects_hivaids.htm#ISOFI
it will give you more insight of what i am trying to say
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sorcerer
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 29, 2007 - 05:26 AM
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Shweta-sj wrote:
In centuries of patriarchal society in India, boys/men grow up believing that they have the ultimate responsibility to protect and generate resources for their family. There is always a pressure to live up to this expectation for which they also often recieve special care.
A mother would want to ensure that the son does not have to be hassled about the household work because he has to be busy earning. And what is the product in the end? - A man who may not be able to cook,clean, stitch clothes, etc at home. He is only trained to use physical power (because thats the only thing that they have more than women at times!) and deal with the outside world because there are always women to deal with the world at home! The most common reason men can give for this is, " We were not asked to do such things. So we do not know how to. Of course! we can learn if we want to!"
But how many men actually get into the practical part of this thought?
What are your views?
More detailed article is on my blog, where some have shared their thoughts:
http://shweta-sj.tigblog.org/
Okay Thats one view.
I would say mostly woman deal with the world at home.Yes! That's been like that for centuries.Right?
I would say in a communtiy where both the man and woman work; the situation sure is changing.
So even if the mother(a female) shows a bias to her son ;in the end he is accustomed to doing household chores.helping out his family and his wife.
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Rajesh
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 29, 2007 - 11:47 AM
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Thank you for bringing up this critical issue. In fact the domination of male is mainly our social learning, where we brought up. We taught that man has to earn for his wife, children and secure the future. On the otherhand, our tradition has bounded women inside the house. But in present condition, the situation has been changing gradually. It is mainly due to the education. If everybody is educated the problem will solve, otherwise it will remain as culture.
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prieten47
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 30, 2007 - 05:51 AM
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At a relatively early age I picked up a feminist magazine in the USA and it really opened my eyes to the discrimination experienced by women.
I worry that such publications (it finally went out of business in the USA) are very few and very few men ever read them. Instead, religion and advertisers pound us with sexist stereotypes that encourage sexist behavior.
I am shocked when I read in the newspaper that Indians and Chinese are sex-selecting their babies to the extent that there are now significant imbalances between the male and female populations. There soon won't be enough women in some areas of these countries.
Feminist groups and publications need our support to enlighten men. On a personal level, I try to be an equal partner in the housework. At schools where I work, I try to use girls/women in my examples when I teach English. I use sentences like: "Do you wash the dishes after dinner" to teach how to make questions and answer them. There are endless ways to teach English in a non-sexist way. I bet there are endless ways to do any job in a non-sexist way!
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Patricia Sudi
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 30, 2007 - 12:24 PM
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in most European countries,men dont mind being better at what women do,its only in African countres that we are affected by these tendencies.Though in town centres,educated men are learning to appreciate reversed roles and dont mind doing women stuff like cleaning up and so forth.
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Becky
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Re: Are Men Changing?
June 30, 2007 - 11:06 PM
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I think that as society changes, both men and women adapt as well. At least in the US, people are tending to get married later in life. This means, that more than before, both men and women are living on their own. In fact, I read recently that there are more single female homeowners than male. Consequently, traditional gender roles are becoming blurred as both genders are "keeping house" independent of the other. For example, I can fix a leaky faucet just as well as I can cook dinner (in case you were wondering, I can actually do both rather well  ) and I would expect that any future husband would be able to do the same. Marriage should be a partnership based on equality, and I think that men and women are realizing this more and more. Similarly, because people are getting married later, women and men both are likely to have established careers making it less likely that the man is the sole wage-earner. I know cases where the husband stays home to do the child-rearing, just as much as I know cases where the woman does. I think that gender roles are becoming less and less strict for the benefit of all involved.
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Shweta
Joined: May 20, 2006
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Re: Are Men Changing?
July 3, 2007 - 06:05 AM
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It is interesting to read examples of change. I do think there is a long way to go. Also, often is is so easy to get comfortable in what one is used to. Not everyone would like to break the cycle and bring the change it seems. E.g. One may not start cooking everyday if someone is anyway always there to do it. One may not go out and deal with traders and bargain while shopping, if someone is anyway there to do it for you.
Interdependence is a beautiful thing but at times it maintains people in stereotypical roles.
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vas
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Re: Are Men Changing?
July 5, 2007 - 10:35 AM
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difficult question.men would like to say they are changing with times and women would say no they are same.its two sides of a coin.
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alin love rai
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Re: Are Men Changing?
July 15, 2007 - 11:33 PM
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have you heard of male chef, they do cooking
have you heard of male cleaner, they do clening, moping, n wat not,
have you heard of gay male fashion designer, they make beautiful clothes, from designing o stichin?
have you heard of gay male interior designer who make beautiful living rooms and wonderful sofa sets?
have you heard of husdands who help thier wives with dishwashin?
women today are changing. so are men. better for both.
This post was edited on: 2007-07-15 at 11:35 PM by: alin love rai
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prieten47
Joined: Oct 26, 2006
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Re: Are Men Changing?
July 16, 2007 - 06:31 AM
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If I may "toot my own horn", I do these things in our house:
1) I vacuum once every two weeks
2) I wash the dishes after every meal
3) I take out (and sort) the trash.
4) I clean the bathroom (when the mildew gets bad enough).
5) I do all the outside work(weeding the yard, cutting grass)
My wife:
1) cooks at dinner time.
2) does the laundry (I used to do the laundry, until I washed her orange shirt together with her favorite white pants and the pants turned orange. No more laundry duty after that!)
Helping with the housework is not so bad!
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Coop!
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Re: Are Men Changing?
July 16, 2007 - 08:42 AM
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Men still dominate much of society, in many cases they receive higher wages, are more likely to be in positions of power and are still considered more able than their female counterparts. I have friends who have been told explicitly that they can't hope to earn as much as a man in their chosen industries - government and policy being one of them!
Women are objectified by the media and media is a reflection of society. However, I don't believe this treatments is conscious and malicious. Change is a gradual process, but sometimes I feel as though the majority of women are fine or apathetic about the current situation. Gender stereotypes are so pervasive and damaging, that most seem to believe them!
To me, that's the true danger of gender stereotypes: that people take for granted that a frame of mind, identity and position in society came part and parcel with their sex.
Change has to be an internal thing. I've only read briefly about the situation between the genders in India, but, from the little that I have read, it does appear that change is gradually occurring. One of my friends, who is a pretty hardcore feminist, was telling me about the feminist movement in India and it sounded like India is undergoing a social re-working.
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