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Luke Lieberman
Joined: Feb 13, 2003
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Two Cows...
November 16, 2006 - 03:27 PM
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DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to
milk production...
but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
There are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
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That guy
Joined: Sep 17, 2006
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Re: Two Cows...
November 17, 2006 - 12:01 AM
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LOL!
Luke, this time you found something good!
This post was edited on: 2006-11-17 at 12:02 AM by: wvanbokk
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Keisha
Joined: Nov 16, 2006
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Re: Two Cows...
November 17, 2006 - 11:09 AM
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hmmm interesting....LOL
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Rajesh
Joined: Jan 11, 2005
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Province/State: Victoria
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Re: Two Cows...
November 17, 2006 - 02:51 PM
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hahahaha.... interesting one.... nice hit.. Sixerrr.
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Lauren
Joined: Jan 20, 2003
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Re: Two Cows...
November 17, 2006 - 07:46 PM
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I've only read this about 40 times, and I still crack up every time I see it. Proof that politics CAN be funny. Very funny.
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ami
Joined: Feb 13, 2006
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Re: Two Cows...
November 18, 2006 - 10:50 AM
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 LOLz
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Yaseen
Joined: Oct 31, 2006
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Province/State: Sindh
City: Tando Jam
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Re: Two Cows...
November 20, 2006 - 07:14 AM
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Pakistani:
There are two Pakistani cows,
One always look for bull one always book for army
One which looks for bull is people of Pakistan
Other which book for army is politicians of Pakistan
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nguyen thi ngoc bich
Joined: Nov 8, 2005
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Re: Two Cows...
November 24, 2006 - 11:38 AM
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And about Viet Nam ?
What can you talk about 2 Vietnamese cows ?
I want to hear yours ideas.
about Russian Cows:
one belongs to Communism.
one belongs to common people.
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