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Bettina
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International Adoption
February 17, 2006 - 03:33 AM
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Hello, I am a children's rights activist and would like to know your honest opinion regarding international adoption. What do you think of when you hear the words "International Adoption?" Does it bring to mind something positive or negative? Why do you have these feelings and what experiences have influenced your opinion/belief.
I am looking for HONEST opinions whether they are positive or negative. I want to learn why people have the beliefs they do and would like to hear them defend those beliefs.
Thank You!
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Bettina
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Please respond
February 20, 2006 - 01:46 AM
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 I can see that many are taking the time to view this post but no one has been willing to voice their opinion on it. Please help me learn more about peoples beliefs and values regarding this topic! I would love to hear from you!
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Hayk
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Re: International Adoption
February 20, 2006 - 04:51 AM
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Hello Bettina!
If you explain what is "International Adoption" I might give some input if I can.
Do ou mean parentless children in some countries being adopted in other countries by some parents like it is the case for example with Brad Pitt and Anjelina Jolie??
I guess probably some people didnt understand clearly whyt meant international Adaption thats why you didnt get many responses yet.
Cheers,
H.
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Gordon Nicol
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International Adoption
February 20, 2006 - 06:55 AM
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Just like everything in this world, it naturally has positive and negative connotations.
I think it's imperative that children have good role models in life and, usually that starts with parents. If children have no parents and there are people in another country who would truly would love to have them in their family, it could be a very positive experience for both children and parents. To adopt a child and bring the child to a country in the west is no easy task. it requires oodles of paperwork and lots and lots of time. So, the potential parents have to be deadly serious to adopt a child from a foreign country.
Naturally, one would be concerned that the parents treat the child well and, this is where there is no guarantee but, since the parents have to go through such a rigorous time to apply for adoption, one would think that they would be pretty decent parents. I would hope that the parents would honour and celebrate the heritage of the child and keep that part of the child alive. Of course I'm sure there's no law that demands that, but I think it's very important to the child to know where she came from and to kindle the fire of her heritage. I think that one of the negative aspects could be that the parents would more than likely be Caucasian and only want the child exposed to their Caucasian beliefs and culture, but hopefully not.
Good luck on getting more replies to your questions.
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Bettina
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Re: International Adoption
February 20, 2006 - 09:07 AM
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Thanks for your responses.
First, international adoption is defined loosely as: A child from one country becomes a citizen of another country for the purpose of creating a permanent home for the child within a country other than the child's birth country. The Brad and Angelina example is a perfect example of what I mean by international adoption.
Second, I must agree with one post that said the parents should celebrate the child's birth culture because it is part of who he/she is. It of course is not mandatory, however, all of the parents I have met celebrate their child's birth country's culture through many different channels. I was luckly enough to create the Community Adoption Festival in my city where children from all around the world are able to collaborate with kids their age from the same. It was a great experience.
Diffent ways that parents help celebrate their child's birth culture are (just in case anyone is curious)
Culture Camp
Traveling with the child to their birth country
Learning their birth language and helping them continue their lingual traditions
Creating focus groups with other adoptive families that have the same cultural heritage
and much much more!
I'm so sorry if I rambled on, this is my passion!
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Anu maheshwari
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Re: International Adoption
February 21, 2006 - 03:34 AM
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This idea of adoption is very close to my heart also. In my country one is likely to face a lot of opposition on the idea of adoption. people will do anything but adopt if they don't have children of their own. the notion of 'blood'ties(!!!) is very strong in here. i would not give a damn what others think about adoption because i know i am right and they are just biased. i just can't figure out why people are so against this notion . it just scares them to even listen to the idea.i also think men seem to be more against the idea than women!!! ( obvious reasons i guess) Some of my older relatives would just laugh it off or would get visibly upset. i can't understand what difference does it make.children are children!. but then they would start on a lecture about preserving the legacy.legacy! my foot!
i think raising a good human being is more important than preserving one's 'legacy'!!!
i am happy that more people from the younger generation are coming forward to support adoption.
The idea of international adoption sounds very good. i got interested in the idea when i was in the eight grade upon reading an article in the Reader's Digest about a family adopting 17( i am not sure about the number at the moment,) kids from around the world . i was really inspired by them. and started dreaming on having that kind of a family myself ;-)
but later i came to know about the slow and complicated adoption procedures and the list of zillion conditions to be met! No wonder so many people shy away from it.
still i dont think we can do away with all the conditions as they are neccessary to keep a check on those who might misuse the idea to exploit the children.
And Bettina i am happy to know that u r passionate abt the cause as u can't do without passion in this field to make a difference. i also like the idea of culture camp traveling.
Kudos!
regards
Anu
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Megha V
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Re: International Adoption
February 21, 2006 - 08:34 AM
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Dear Bettina,
I feel people who adopt kids are doing a very noble thing. It in itself is a very good thing but then it also depends on who is adopting. I mean recently i came across an incident where a guy from US had adopted a girl from russia some years back and then he turned out to be a pervert. He would sell her naked pics online and would torture her. I feel all these missionaries have such a big resposibility to ensure that a child is going to a safe place. a place where he/she can have a good future.
It can go terribly wrong also and in that case the future of a kid is on stake.
I am completely for it but i would just like to say that it can get negative at times. All depends on a lot of factors u know!!
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Gordon Nicol
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Re: International Adoption
February 21, 2006 - 10:59 AM
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Indeed, the safety of the children being adopted is paramount. But, even biological parents are sometimes guilty of meanness and cruelty to their own children. This is unfortunately, a fact of life and would not be unique to adopted children. I think that, like the vast majority of biological parents, the vast majority of adoptive parents have only love for their children. It is incomprehensible to me, myself a parent, how it is possible to harm a child, the closest I think we have of getting to God. I can only imagine that the people who harm children are themselves tortured souls because children are such beautiful beings.
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Megha V
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Re: International Adoption
February 22, 2006 - 02:10 AM
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Dear Greg,
I completely agree with you!! i have not been able to understand what sort of people who harm thei own children...I think sometimes people dont think long term when they choose to adopt. It is so important to give it a serious thought as it is abt someone's life that u r taking in ur hand.
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Gordon Nicol
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Re: International Adoption
February 22, 2006 - 11:57 AM
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Megha,
I can tell that you are quite compassionate about children as I am. When my son was born, I was struck by the absolute power we have as a parent to shape and mold this incredible, beautiful being whose very existence we are entrusted with. It's an awesome responsibility and, as you point out, those who are going to become parents should consider this carefully. Unfortunately, children are brought into this world many times by accident, and are not wanted. They therefore suffer for "ruining the parent's life." And this is why there is so much abuse I'm sure, becuase basically, the children are not wanted by the parents. In a truly enlightened society, these children would be gladly accepted by the elders of our society, those much wiser and more patient and comfortable in training their charges for life.
Personally, I have a very controversial idea. I think that all potential parents should first have to sit a test before they are allowed to produce children. I mean, think of it, we all have to sit a fairly strict test to drive a car. Being responsible for the upbringing of a child, is far more daunting and requires (as any parent will attest) 24 hours a day attention in the first few weeks and goes on for at least 15 - 20 years, never mind the financial commitment.
I also believe that children are our passport to a better future. Train the child and you will have a responsible adult who can then go out and change the world. I tell you that there is not a child born into this world who is a racist, a thief, or a liar. All these and many other negative traits are taught, and usually by the parents unforunately.
Well, thanks for listening.
And my name is Gordon ..............but i'll answer to just about anything : )
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Megha V
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Re: International Adoption
February 23, 2006 - 04:58 AM
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Hey gordon,
Good to know that you share similar thoughts. I am not married yet but still i adore children and in my family we have a lot of people who have adopted children. Hmm what u say kinda makes sense abt going thru a test...I mean for example in my country india..in some rural villages people have 8 to 10 children and they r so uneducated so they think of them as gods gift but unfortunately cuz of poverty they cant bring them up and so they start working when actually they r supposed to go to school. Its quiet sad!!
Its true that noone is born bad but circumstances shape a person and makes him who he is. But a lot of that depends on how ur childhood has been and also how was ur parents relationship when u were growing up. Its imp to give every kid a good child hood and teach them love and respect! Unfortunately in today's age when we are rushing to do everything...people dont have much time to think of these lil things but they are of great value.
My name is megha by the way!!
Cheers
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e.sum
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Re: International Adoption
July 20, 2006 - 10:38 PM
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update
This thread is being reopened. Members are asked to please stay on topic, refrain from personal attacks and to back up any claims with concrete sources and facts.
---
This thread is being temporarily closed to be put under review by administration. Thank you for your patience!
This post was edited on: 2006-07-25 at 05:29 PM by: esum
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Azira Aziz
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Re: International Adoption
July 26, 2006 - 12:27 AM
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I feel, which I believe is universal, very strongly about children. I have in fact entertained the idea of staying single and adopting a few of my own after I have established myself careerwise. In this particular topic tho, it's rather in the sense that it's good if someone from a richer country to adopt a child from a poorer nation because it's a win-win situation when ut comes to the children and the parents not only in the obvious financial aspect but also in the sense of belonging for both parties.
It is rather expensive though, so if any of you plan to do so, you must be absolutely serious about it.
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aubrey madeline
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Re: International Adoption
July 26, 2006 - 06:17 AM
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i think it doesnt matter because any child no matter the race should be loved and care for by caring people
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