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W. H. Deyamport, III, CFLE
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Does race influence one's mate selection?
October 26, 2005 - 10:47 AM
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For those of you have either dated or thought of dating someone of another ethnic group backgroud, did race play into your decision? What kind of preconceived notions did you, if any, bring into the relationship? Lastly, since we now live in a world community, does race still play a factor on one's decision about dating and mating?
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Matt
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
October 26, 2005 - 07:08 AM
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From my point of view, race didnt play into our decision at all. There were no preconceived notions - only understanding that our families were different.
My family didnt even notice the ethnic differences, but maybe more traditional cultures might have a problem with it?
It occasionally happens that walking down the street we see old ladies staring at us, and we know its because to them it may seem "wrong". But time moves on and eventually........ it should be accepted as the normal thing to do, and ethnic background won't be a factor at all.
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Azira Aziz
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
October 26, 2005 - 12:26 PM
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I'm what you might call a hybrid myself, so I'm not too particular about race.
For the first question, race certainly did not play any issue in the perception. If he's hot, I doubt any girl can resist him ^_~. Think Brad Pitt, Korean male actors, Orlando Bloom, Jude Law...
For the second question, it depends on what I or any girl was looking for at the moment. For a summer fling, I suppose girls just wanna have a lot of fun, giggle a lot, all those things teenagers do. For a long-term relationship, definitely compatibility in personalities. Normal stuff like mutual respect, equal responsibilities, and well...love. Something that could withstand the wear of time etc. I more or less generalized it, but if you're doing an in-depth research you might want to try anonymous emails.
Lastly, my answers are from a Malaysian perspective. To say that we are a world community is a bit too much to swallow, since we have all the diversity and clashes of values some too sensitive to discuss still. I say race is not a factor. I think religion usually does play a factor, especially for girls tho.
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Victoria Lynne Pouncy
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 4, 2005 - 04:48 AM
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. I think that it is ok to marry or date outside of your race . As long there is true love and affection for your partner it should not be an issue. Some people dont see it that way. It makes my stomach turn knots just cause someone only looks at skin color or their culture .My family does not believe in racial mixing it makes me sad cuz i am in love with a guy who is white and it is unacceptable. My mother does not like it and his fatther is not happy with his choice. I dont understand why people cant get over my color or his color and automatically seen as wrong
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Keeter
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 4, 2005 - 08:37 AM
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I don't think race should ever play a part when you're choosing a person to date or marry. I come from an interacial relationship and I've grown up and lived my whole life in a country where it's just normal to see interacial couples and children. I will admit that I have a lot of family who stringly believe that it's wron but they are just racist anyway so I guess that's the whole reason.
I think that when choosing a partner you should look at how the person treats you, makes you feel, and of course your feelings for that person, and not the colour of their skin.
To Difference100: Your parents need to realise that they have their own lives to live and you have yours, and while living your life, no matter what religion you are, you're supposed to do what is right and pleasing to God. I don't think that leaving your boyfriend because your parents have a problem with his race is considered anything remotely close to right.
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Luke Lieberman
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 4, 2005 - 10:00 AM
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Is the question "should it" or "does it" I think at a subconscious level it often does with people.
My parents are mixed in both race and religion so I've never been too particular - Dated Hispanic, Indian, Chinese, Pursian, Russian, Hungarian, Turkish - happen to be seeing a Jewish girl now but this is a rare thing - besides with a vioce like hers - who can resist - she is a Broadway actress.
I also think it has something to do with where you live - if you live in a metropolitan City than you are much more likely to meet and date different races.
Frankly I find girls who are a bit exotic the most interesting - why go out with someone who is the same as you - where is the fun in that?
Relationships should make you grow as a person - people from different backgrounds have alot to teach you.
Finally - while we talk about this - it should also be mentioned that CLASS is often an issue as well - wealthy fathers don't usually want their daughters running around with poor guys.
"I dont understand why people cant get over my color or his color and automatically seen as wrong" -
Because they are older - don't take it the wrong way - alot of time the older generation - particularly our Parents - grew up at a time when there was much more tension between the races - and a bit of racism was much more common.
It is how they were raised - for my Grandparents it was a big deal my Mom married a Jewish guy. They are not bad people - they just reflect the times they were raised in.
I think if anything the fact that you two are together should show you how far we have come as a global society. The fact your family is still giving you trouble for it - well that shows how far we still have to go.
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W. H. Deyamport, III, CFLE
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Interesting
November 8, 2005 - 02:49 AM
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Wow! A lot of responses. I agree that class is becoming a bigger issue, in some circles, than race. Now, that is not to say that economics trump race. That is simply not true. It is apparent that a Black man of means has many more dating opportunities, in regards to being accepted by Whites.
What do you think?
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S.Evets
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 8, 2005 - 08:39 AM
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What is race? Can anyone define that? Where are the cut-off lines? Under apartheid in South Africa, people would change race and/or be reclassified every year. The bi-racial stuff is in fashion now.What the hell is that?
There's no such thing as race.
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Gerald Derome
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 8, 2005 - 08:55 AM
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I've always stuck to the human race.
I did not know that there were any other available for us to date or mate with!
Gerald
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Brigitta
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Interesting
November 9, 2005 - 01:45 AM
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Originally posted by DrWill
Wow! A lot of responses. I agree that class is becoming a bigger issue, in some circles, than race. Now, that is not to say that economics trump race. That is simply not true. It is apparent that a Black man of means has many more dating opportunities, in regards to being accepted by Whites.
What do you think?
Excusez moi?"...being accepted by "White" people"?!!!!and who are these "White" people by the way?? last time i checked all self respecting Black people were lookng more to hold their own and survive than be accepted by any "White,Blue,brown,Yellow,Pink" or whatever coloured or colourless people you know of than be "accepted" by anyone.
all self-respecting Black people i know of dont go dating "White,Green or Red people" to acquire status,assert class or anything like that."..being accepted by "Whites"?!!i didnt know this kind of inferiority complex(still)exists among some Black people.i am so depressed.to think that some people can think that they need to be "accepted" by "others" just because they've been told they are "better" than them is the lowest point i've hit today.and to think that others would even go further in this sad pursuit of useless and pointless "acceptance" to date or marry whoever instead of doing worthwhile things like pursuing causes to heal themselves and their own Black people from the damning effects of the great oppressions from the very people they are trying to "impress" this day is the only one thing to make me go crazy.i thought our self-worth and esteem as human beings foremost and the downtrodden Black race was higher than that.but if it is not,no wonder others assumed (and still do) superiority over skin colour.wake up and see the light,today and not tommorrow coz it might be too late................................
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W. H. Deyamport, III, CFLE
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Re: Does race influence one's mate selection?
November 10, 2005 - 12:05 PM
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I did not say anything about dating others as a status symbol. I just brought up the fact that class can play a larger role in being accepted by someone from another ethnicity.
For example, I would rather choose a woman (outside of a good heart)based on her level of education, her intellect, her ambition, and her earning potential than race. For me race is not an issue when it comes to character and charisma. I am married. My wife is not Black (I am). She is Mexican. Aside from possesing certain qualities I find pleasing, I am very happy that my wife is a college graduate and does not need me to take care of her financially.
I have may have gone off topic.
Does sharing the same tax bracket trump sharing specific ethnic experiences?
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