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Feyikemi
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One step at a time...?
June 16, 2005 - 01:12 AM
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I don't mean the scientific approach to it but the honest-to-goodness way of educating students about the birds and the bees.
I write a column for students here in China and I'm disappointed that they don't want me to discuss sexuality, boy-girl relationships, and anything that may mean "sex". I think it's hypocrisy because young Chinese know more than what adults expect them to know. If you visit Beijing, you will see couples in school uniform having PDA, they do things that would embarrass people like me from a liberated country and the closed-minded adults are firm about not openly discussing sex in schools.
What's your take on this?
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Animesh
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 16, 2005 - 02:37 AM
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Zhac, let me begin by thanking you for starting this thread. I was, in fact, going to put up a similar one, as this is one of the questions that have been troubling me for quite sometime now. I do understand and agree with your point. Sex has always been a part of Asian cultures, however in the ancient times, as it is apparent, there were certain norms that were supposed to be followed strictly. For instance, in ancient Indian texts, one would find that a man is supposed to follow ‘Brahmcharya’ (the practice of singlehood – without indulging in a romantic relation) until the age of 25. However, these rules were not strictly followed in numerous instances. An example of this is the practice of child marriages in Rajasthan (a state in Northwest India). Yet ‘sex’ is something that is conventionally not discussed in open. This is similar across most Asian countries including those in the East. From whatever I have learned from books on Chinese culture, I can say that conventionally the Chinese do not tend to discuss things like love and romantic relationships in open, ‘sex’ would be something much beyond.
In present times, the things have changed drastically. I feel that although new cultural changes (mainly due to influences from the west) have been widely accepted by the youth across Asia, the authorities want this acceptance to be customized as per their will. In this attempt, they tend to take a prohibitive stance rather than a problem solving one. A key factor in the conduct of such situation in a country could be the system of government. In a democratic country like India, there are groups and individuals that have been able to express their views on ‘sex education’ and this has gone up to the level of introducing it in the schools’ curriculum.
There is no doubt about the fact that the value system in Asian cultures, especially in the East has suffered considerably in the modern era. But I think taking a prohibitive stance would only help promoting hypocrisy across the societies. Conclusively, my concern is not primarily the opacity and hypocrisy that exists, but also the resultant degraded value system.
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cockcockcock
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 17, 2005 - 07:49 AM
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a good topic.
i am in canada so i cannont comment on asiatic sexual taboo's but i can say the the asian student do complain of strict parental impostions about relationships.
a issue that is more concerning is the regression in the united states. with a relgious right sitting firmly in power they are trying more and more to turn a blind eye to sexual education in school. if they have any program at all its a vauge biologial discription with ABSITENCE stenciled everywhere. they impose their own religious morality on students. its fachism. they hardly introduce the conecept of safe sex, condoms and other birth control. this kind of education is detrimental to a child sexual development. they plant the seed in fertile and then try to hide the plant from veiw. a child see all these wonderful exiting new things and want to go and experminet, as is every adoloencets right. but then, because he or she dosent know all the facts. this is how teen pregnacy happen and how sexually transmited desiases are spread. why not cut the morality and stick to facts
Eistoor
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Feyikemi
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 17, 2005 - 09:10 AM
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I think the underlying problem is in the misconception of some ultra-conservative cultures that sex education would only heighten the curiosity and already suppressed adolescent libido. Take Chinese for example, you mention "sex" and they cringe, when open-minded people know that it could mean so many different things. The thing is, we know that adolescents want to know more about sex. Like in one class I had in Beijing. I showed the film "Mean Girls" starring Lindsay Lohan because I wanted to address bullying in school, the pains of growing up, and because it was an Oral English class, I wanted them to listen to how Americans use the language. To my surprise and dismay, the local teachers almost threw me out of the room because the film showed some kissing scenes that are not even torrid! And the students in the class were 14 to 15-year-olds; the film is PG-13. So they watched a part of it but were not allowed to finish it. From where I come from, that's called a teaser and I don't think it would suppress anything sexual in their minds.
High school students here kiss and touch each other in the subway, the malls, parks, everywhere.... and they have easy access to pirated films. What if one student says, "I got this great XXX DVD, drop by my house and let's check it out." Isn't that more disturbing? Because the adults who are supposed to guide them are hypocrites, these kids would rather find out for themselves.
I don't think it has anything to do with culture anymore because if it did, kissing and touching in public wouldn't be allowed especially among teenagers. I think it has something to do with them PRETENDING to be a modest and conservative culture.
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Luke Lieberman
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 17, 2005 - 10:34 AM
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It should be discussed frankly and openly - like adults, it is an adult subject.
if parents insisnt on treating the kids like children who can't handle discussions about the most natural thing in the world -
- then young people will have nothing but their hormones and imaginations to guide them -
there is no stopping nature.
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Ha Thi Lan Anh
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 17, 2005 - 11:59 AM
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I think sexuality and sex remain taboos not only in Asian culture and countries but everywhere even in Europe and North America... the issue does not revolve around whether or not people should discuss about sexuality and sex anymore, but the equally important one is : how to discuss such issues in a group of inter-generational and multi- cultural people...
Everyone throughout history has been discussing about sexuality.Even the most conservative people (ie: catholic church for example) for sure have disucussed about sexuality in their own discourse of language guided by their ideologies, liberal progressive people have their own discourse on sexuality as well... So it is really not the question of can or should sexuality be discussed .. but about understanding these different existing discourse on sexuality to confront them.
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Animesh
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One step at a time...?
June 18, 2005 - 06:44 AM
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I think along with ‘how’, the question of ‘when’ holds the key. It is thus equally important to see that the adolescents do get a chance to openly pose and discuss their doubts on the physical changes that they witness in time before they begin exploring and experimenting on their own – as mentioned above. Well, am a little surprised to find here that the authorities even in a so called liberal countries like US could ‘turn a blind eye to sexual education in schools’! In such light, any change in attitudes seems somewhat difficult for a country like China to me. I feel prior to the question “how to discuss such issues in a group of multi-cultural people”, it would be important to see how such issues could be discussed in specific regional contexts first. I am sure that there are certain prominent differences between the ideologies that drive societies in the East and in the West, thus for positive results one needs to think about dealing with issues in light of pre-existent regional biases first and then to think about the hows in a multi-cultural context. It is important because to my belief a majority of authorities in certain countries might just not be having a concord on discussing what we are discussing here!
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Servant
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Great Topic
June 18, 2005 - 06:44 AM
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Zhac yesterday i was with my friends,i told them we need to teach our child and youth at schools about sex relations or adult matters frankly..so i think thats will be usefull for those child and as you said they know more than expected..am with you.
Either i lived in developing country jordan its in middle east,,but really we have the base for begin in this talking coz we discusse it frankly and also child talk between them but we need some open minds,we have areligion culture and thats from my opinion good side for these matters.
Peace
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Animesh
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 18, 2005 - 07:23 AM
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Hi Farook! I was involved in some secondary research in the past and had come across poor representation of women students in higher education across the Middle-east. Jordan, as far as I remember, had a better representation compared to other neighboring countries, but overall it has been my feeling that the strict socio-cultural environment has prevented women from higher studies and working across the region. In such situation, as a resident of the region, what is your opinion on how could one go about sex education in schools?
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Feyikemi
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 18, 2005 - 09:21 AM
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Hi Farook! I agree that it's very difficult to break away from tradition and culture because any topic about sex makes most people edgy.
I think it's a good idea to have the discussion gender-based. If the people involved are just starting to open up to such issues, they would want to discuss with the same sex because between a boy and a girl, it could be very awkward. Then there could be a general open forum as the discussion progresses.
I remember, back in college, when I had to compete in a debate about sex. Because it was done in an informative way and where teenagers could actually give their opinions, nobody acted weird about it because the adults who facilitated weren't at all inhibited and it sort of brought us into the spirit of healthy discussion.
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Animesh
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Re: One step at a time...?
June 18, 2005 - 10:16 AM
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To me, Zhac’s suggestion seems interesting and the one worth considering. I can myself relate to this very idea of a gender-based discussion. I recall that when I was in early teens, there was a topic called ‘reproduction in human beings’ in the curriculum, but the (lady) teacher had declared – “We can skip the chapter. Boys are smart enough; and girls can ask me later if they have any questions.” Although this was around a decade back, the things have not changed much as far as the teachers’ approach could be considered. So keeping in mind the reluctance on part of the people at responsible positions, I believe that gender-based discussion is perhaps a stronger and more potent approach towards sex education.
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Christian
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Re: One step at a time...?
September 7, 2005 - 08:36 AM
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The issue of sexuality evokes diverse feelings and conception by people going by their background and orientation.Here in Africa it is considered a taboo and in some cases attracts the rebukes of the adult on the younger ones who are inquisitive.However, it is an obvious that the protected group takes time to watch pornography if available or engage in some other ways mostly dangerous.Infact, i donot see any need for such barriers.
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Sunil Kumar
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Re: One step at a time...?
October 15, 2005 - 04:38 AM
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Hi! lets take all human needs and the way we learn to satisfy them, the problems we create by making it complex, the solution we try to find to fix it, creating another set of complex problems, then again break our head to find the solution, and we fools continue like it ...
Now just being how nature has put it and live how nature wanted will not that be a natural way of solving what is not a problem.
The human needs I am talking about it is all, food, shelter, sex, society...
get me naturally at sunilinus2003@yahoo.com!!!
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sawera
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An islamic prespective on sexuality
October 18, 2005 - 09:19 AM
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Sexuality is considered part of our identity as human beings. In His creation of humankind, God distinguished us from other animals by giving us reason and will such that we can control behavior that, in other species, is governed solely by instinct. So, although sexual relations ultimately can result in the reproduction and survival of the human race, an instinctual concept, our capacity for self-control allows us to regulate this behavior. Also, the mere fact that human beings are the only creatures who engage in sexual relations once they are beyond the physical capacity for reproduction sets us apart from all other species, which engage in sex for the sole purpose of reproduction.
Naturally, attraction between individuals is necessary to initiate a relationship that leads to marriage. But sexual relations can obviously take place between any couple, consenting or not. Because of the far-reaching ramifications of sexual relations outside of marriage, God prohibits Muslims from such behavior. And because the process that leads to physical attraction and ultimately intimacy is part of human nature, People are advised to behave in a way and avoid circumstances that could potentially result in extra- or premarital sex. Modesty in dress and behavior between women and men figures prominently as a means of exhibiting self-control. Similarly, unmarried couples are admonished against spending time alone in isolated places where they would be more likely to act on their feelings and thus be less inhibited.
Some of the negative results of sex outside of marriage include the potential for unwanted pregnancies, transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, disruption of the family and marriage (in cases of adultery), and emotional and psychological difficulties resulting from the lack of commitment associated with most relationships outside of marriage. As in other religions, extra- and premarital sex are considered major sins. Muslims believe that God does not simply forbid or allow behavior whimsically, but does so with our best interest at heart, guiding us away from potentially destructive behavior and towards behavior that allows us to achieve our most fulfilling potentials as human beings. For a similar reason, Muslims give up the consumption of alcohol because of faith in God's wisdom that the negative effects outweigh the positive for individuals and society at large.
Human beings are capable of many forms of sexual expression, orientation and identification. The existence of such a variety again is not found in any other species and thus further demonstrates our uniqueness among God's creations. The potential for behavior, such as homosexuality, does not mean that its practice is lawful in the eyes of God. Therefore, individuals are expected to control themselves and not act on their desires if such action is contrary to the guidelines of Islam. Homosexuality, like other forms of sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage, is thus prohibited.
Clearly, from the above discussion, Islam is explicit about many aspects of human sexuality. Also, based on the numerous hadith showing the Prophet's willingness to discuss these matters openly, it should be obvious that education about matters related to sex is acceptable. Muslims may disagree about the age at which sex education begins; some don't discuss the subject at all. Explaining anatomy and the changes one's body experiences during puberty are essential for enabling young people to grow up with a healthy self-image. Also, in an age where sexual activity in many countries begins at an early age, Muslim adolescents must be informed to better enable them to deal with peer pressure. Sex education can be taught in a way that informs young people about sexuality in scientific and moral terms.
In countries with very diverse populations, such as the United States, the main limitation in developing sex education curricula, particularly in public schools, is the inability to select a universally acceptable moral position. Therefore, young people are given facts and information, and advised that if they choose to engage in sexual relationships, they should take measures to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. The moral and religious aspects of sexuality can be incorporated either in schools of a particular religious denomination or in adjunctive coursework offered by religious institutions.
Regardless of the challenges of each society, young people must be adequately informed. Also, in some Muslim communities, individuals are encouraged to marry at young ages. They need to be educated regarding sexuality prior to the marriage such that they know what to expect and can consider their options for birth control prior to consummating the marriage.
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Maggy
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Lovely topic!!! :)
April 6, 2006 - 03:57 AM
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Sexuality is is always a hard topic to discuss in public until now in Vietnam, i think the same as in China. It is the basicness our human beings, no one can deny this fact. However, in some cultures, like asians, kissing/ hugging ... in public places is considered as impolite activities. Although sexuality education is taught at Vietnamese school from secondary schools but not much. Sometimes, teachers as wel as parents dont wanna talk about this topic coz they think doing this will increase youth' sexual activities.
Remembering the day when i was at university, we had a discussion inour class about mix schools adn one-sex schools. When our group mentioned sexual problems, none of my classmates wanted us to continued. We were so surpried then coz at that time we were not chilren anymore. So what made them have such action? That's social prejudice which remains unchanged for long time. From that time, i had to be much more careful when i wanna mention this topic in my class.
So, Zhac, you arent the only person facing such problem.
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