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TLInterfaith
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Interfaith Relationships
March 24, 2005 - 05:29 AM
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Relationships can be tough but what happens when the person you love doesn’t share the same faith as you do? Can the differences ever be put aside? Are you currently dating someone who doesn’t share the same religious background as you? Do your family and friends not understand? Want to share the challenges and benefits of being in an interfaith relationship? If so, we want to hear from you. If you appear to be between the ages of 18-27, email us at interfaith@mtvstaff.com. Please include your name, location, and contact info.
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Martin Tairo
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Interfaith Relationships
March 29, 2005 - 06:37 AM
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These relationships would always survive if parents of the people involved are left out of the relationships and the people involved have also put their relationship in priority to their religions.
However, Muslims seem to be very rigid and suggest that to be married to their males or females, you are the one to convert. Why are they so rigid? And do they think that theirs is the only religion that people can belong to?
Take a case of a man who converted from Islam years ago but his extended family still haunts him. His children (Female) were recently abducted by the extended family to be circumcised but were rescued by police.
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blue
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
April 3, 2005 - 12:48 PM
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I think that the issue of interfaith relationships is really an issue of intercultural relationships. Its not so much the religious difference between a couple, but more the worry that parents/family have about being able to get on with parents/family from another culture. Religion then actually becomes only one of several issues. Interfaith relationships tend to be less of an issue among families who are able to branch out by making close friends with people from other cultures/religions. Such friendships between cultures emphasize the fact that cultural identity is often surpassed by personal identity. Respective parents may come from different backgrounds and harbour prejudices against those from another culture, but upon exposure realise that they share many common interests which define them as human beings, rather than belonging to a particular culture/religion.
I have been in a relationship which was interracial, interfaith and intercultural (she was a caucasian American and I am British from first generation Indian parents).
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Martin Tairo
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
June 20, 2005 - 01:01 AM
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There was this lady in highschool that i really admired but was from a different religion, and to be precise, muslim. We were close friends and the possibility of a relationship showed up but once she learned that i would be reluctant to convert to another religion, she drifted apart.
Although this lady really liked me, her parents were strict religious followers and would not condone another faith. I think that if her parents were a little flexible, it wouldnt have been an issue to drift people apart.
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Azira Aziz
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
June 21, 2005 - 03:33 AM
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At the end of the day, it depends on the particular individual itself. It is not unusual where I am for people to convert to a specific religion of their spouse to marry him or her (usually to Islam here). There's no problem whatsoever.
It's not really whether Muslims are rigid or not. It's just that we happen to cling to our religion, and tend to choose that way more often than not. There's no problem to convert outside Islam, but like I have said before, it's a personal choice. To make matters simpler, we put religion on a higher priority than future spouses.
Acceptance of the families also play a huge role. If neither parents agree to it, it hardly works I suppose. It is still possible, but not without misery on both sides.
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Martin Tairo
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
June 23, 2005 - 12:17 PM
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Originally posted by ChibiMelody
At the end of the day, it depends on the particular individual itself. It is not unusual where I am for people to convert to a specific religion of their spouse to marry him or her (usually to Islam here). There's no problem whatsoever.
It's not really whether Muslims are rigid or not. It's just that we happen to cling to our religion, and tend to choose that way more often than not. There's no problem to convert outside Islam, but like I have said before, it's a personal choice. To make matters simpler, we put religion on a higher priority than future spouses.
Acceptance of the families also play a huge role. If neither parents agree to it, it hardly works I suppose. It is still possible, but not without misery on both sides.
This is an excessively personal question here and you may choose not to answer. Is there any circumstance that can make you change your religion? Or simpler, can you convert to another religion?
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Peculiar
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
June 24, 2005 - 08:48 AM
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Well,
All depend on the patners. If they really love each other, they interfaith aspect of it will not be a problem because they both we ready to face any during the course of dating and till they achieve their best in this subject.
But, personally I don't love interfaith rlationship becuase it going to be that one will like to to start from the foundation to the and adapt to the faith of his/her partner.
All in short depend directly on individual.
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Sameer Rizvi
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 10, 2005 - 10:03 AM
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Sigh. I'm recently coming out of an interfaith relationship; by recently I mean 7 months, and I still feel strongly about her.
We both live in Canada, both Indian, actually, both were even from the same small city of Aligarh, in India. However, both of our religions varied. I'm a Muslim, and she's a Hindu. Both our fathers are against interfaith marriages, both really opposed to ANYONE marrying outside their religion. Albeit, we still loved each other greatly, and I have a feeling we still do.
But what broke us up wasn't our religious differences - I was fine with her singing her mantras, even to me... it felt nice, and she understood the significance of Islam in my life. The problem, however, were our cultural differences.
To name one, Clubbing. She was in love with clubbing, and I distanced myself from it. All she ever did was talk about clubbing, and how amazing it was. Although she never went during our relationship (both 18 at the time), she would tell me about how excited she would get knowing that when she turns 19 that's the only thing she's looking forward to. That would be the main underlying cause of most of our arguments. I would become so upset by those thoughts, and I would do anything to change the topic; and at that time, the only thing that would come to mind were some sort of rebelious action.
I could have let her enjoy her fantasies, but my heart said it was wrong because I wouldn't be there in case anything went wrong - common case in Toronto (RIP Chandru and Soumiyan). But she insisted. After we broke up even, she told me that she can wait to go clubbing until she turns 19, there's no need to go with fake ID. But... that obviously wasn't the case as the next week her friend was able to find her a fake ID, and that same Thursday, they hit the clubs. That was the last time I talked to her, because the pain I went through wasn't anything I could suppress any more.
Sigh. What I'm trying to say is that if you do fall for someone of another faith, you're not going to think about the religious differences, because that'll be the last thing on your mind. The differences that you'll find, will be cultural and they WILL have an impact on your life if you're not willing to adjust to them.
-Sameer
P.S. Oh man. Do comment because I was going all over the place, lol. It's tough talking about your last love.
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Saladin
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Interfaith Relationships
October 11, 2005 - 04:44 AM
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Originally posted by mmtairo
Muslims seem to be very rigid and suggest that to be married to their males or females, you are the one to convert. Why are they so rigid? And do they think that theirs is the only religion that people can belong to?
It seems nobody even cares to dig in the essential sources of Muslim religion to find out what are the regulations governing marriage....The Qur'an clearly states that a Muslim men can marry Christian and Jewish women...because Islam ratifies Christendom and Judaism, such that a Muslim cannot be termed as "believer" except when he believes that God sent two previous books: The Torah, and the Bible.
Even Muhammad (SAAWS), the prophet of Islam, was married to a Jewish woman, al-sayyida "Safiyya Bint Huyayy", as well as a Christian woman, al-sayyida "Mariya Al-Qibtiyya".
Please don't base your information on stereotypes folks...
peace
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Olomu1
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 11, 2005 - 06:31 AM
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Aymanelhakea, what mmtairo said concerning the rigidity of muslims and islam to interfaith marriages is a whole truth take it or leave it.
Islam does not encourage interfaith relationships and on few occassions it does is usually to its advantage i.e muslim male getting married to a non muslim female inorder to have a new convert.
You cited prophet muhammad as one who got entangled in an interfaith marriage, but did you know the basis for such marriages then and were the women allowed to perform their traditional religious rights or simply coerced into practising islam. These are simple questions i dont mean no harm.
And again ayman.., would you as a typical muslim be willing to marry a christian or jewish just like the prophet and if yes would you grant her request to take your children to churches or shrines with her in accordance to the dictate of her religion? I only asked simple questions.
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Saladin
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 11, 2005 - 11:28 AM
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-what mmtairo said concerning the rigidity of muslims and islam to interfaith marriages is a whole truth take it or leave it-
I'm afraid it's not a "truth" : As I said before, and as history proves: Muhammad married a Jewish woman, and a Christian woman...also the Qur'an says clearly (5: 5):
[ This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good). ]
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Luke Lieberman
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 11, 2005 - 12:53 PM
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Ayman - look bro,
rigidly religious people are against interfaith marriages -
Orthodox Jews NEVER marry outside the religion - and I know Christians who would be appalled by the idea as well.
However I think it is fair to say that there are more Muslims who subscribe to a kind of orthodoxy then in most other religions -
Also reolize that often the most "religious" (read narrowminded) people are not really that knowledgable of their own religion.
and while Muslim Men might be able to marry outside the faith - their Daughters are CERTAINLY NOT encouraged to do so.
Aside from the Orthodox of my religion intermarraige is simply a matter of course for many Jews as we have lived as a minority among other communities for so long.
Most people whose Faith is personal and not political in nature can make love work with someone who does not share their religious beleifs - it often comes down to the Children and what they are taught to beleive as the contentious issue.
My Mother came from a Deeply religious and conservative Southern Christian family - and they did have issues with her marrying a Jewish man at first, but ultimately they got over it because they liked my Dad on a personal level.
And as for the kids - we were taught to respect the teachings of both Faiths - and WE were RESPECTED enough to make our own descision as to which we would follow.
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Azira Aziz
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 17, 2005 - 11:02 AM
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<quote>This is an excessively personal question here and you may choose not to answer. Is there any circumstance that can make you change your religion? Or simpler, can you convert to another religion?</quote>
I've been through that phase in my life where I questioned God, religion, and ploughed through the collective holy works of Christianity, Buddhism, Quranic translations, and considered theism, agnostism, and various ideologies. I deduced it best that I remain a Muslim, because I believe it best for me. So, no. =)
I must say that I have dated *blush* men of different faiths, it is Malaysia after all, and it's normal. hehe... So far I've never experienced any disrespect towards my person (only some theological debates once in a while), it's well understood that we Muslim females are a conservative lot ^_~.
Btw, I'm a Syafie Muslim, and we deem the current Christian foctrine as 'corrupted', therefore everyone has to convert to Islam before they can marry each other. Same goes to Jews.
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Saladin
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 18, 2005 - 09:09 AM
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-and while Muslim Men might be able to marry outside the faith - their Daughters are CERTAINLY NOT encouraged to do so.-, says Luke.
You're correct Luke, but that does not mean that interfaith marriage DOES NOT exist in Islam, right ?
Islam in its essence is a system that emphasizes "wasatism" or "intermediate jurisdiction", i.e. you may find common things with other faiths, traditions, etc...but not in the same way...such that it's located between the two extremes: either allowing all forms of interfaith marriages, or banning them all.
While Islam does not allow a Muslim woman to be married to a non-Muslim man -and this has reasons rooted in the Muslim social model-, it allows Muslim men to marry either Jewish or Christian women.
Originally posted by luke
However I think it is fair to say that there are more Muslims who subscribe to a kind of orthodoxy then in most other religions -
Well there are certainly lots of extremist Muslims, but there are also nearly non-religious "Muslims" as well.
I think it's normal that any religion has its extermist population, and that Islam and Judaism share that aspect.
The fact that the numbers of the world's Muslims exceed significantly the numbers of Jews does not mean that the percentages of extremmist population is that different.
If you have ever happened to visit countries like Tunisia, Morocco, Turkey, Syria, Lebanon, or even some parts of Egypt, you would notice that the majority of Muslims are not "parctising Muslims"...I don't like that, I neither like having lots of extremist Muslims.
Chibi Melody,
I think Muslims should stop belonging to separatist sects and schools: Syafie, Sunni, Shi'ite, Zaydi, Isma'ili, etc...since the only path towards our prosperity is our unity: we're all Muslims, and we follow Muhammad (s).
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Azira Aziz
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
October 23, 2005 - 04:57 AM
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Chibi Melody, I think Muslims should stop belonging to separatist sects and schools: Syafie, Sunni, Shi'ite, Zaydi, Isma'ili, etc...since the only path towards our prosperity is our unity: we're all Muslims, and we follow Muhammad (s).
*cough*
Let's examine the OIC. The Arab League only cares about their oilfields and profits, India didn't attend the last convention despite having over 130 million Muslims in her shores, Farrah Khan, the American Islamic leader wasn't invited (oh, wait, because OIC was confused, there were TWO Muslim leaders in USA right?), and let's just face it, what the heck did anyone do when Iraq and Afghanistan was invaded by USA? Arab League didn't do zilch. One of the core foundations of OIC was to safeguard all holy places i.e. rid Jerusalem of 'the Jewish infadels' (Quoted verbatim), and ooh, isn't Palestine only less than 15% of its original territory now? Sure, they got Gaza/West Bank, but Jordan wants it back I think. It's divided into pro-American, pro-Islamists/fundamentalist, it's pro or con. Each is putting aside collective benefits for petty individual aims.
And let's not forget, since Saddham went down, and Mahadhir retired, there is no single leader that everyone truly respects and adores. I have deep respect for both rascals.
Religion to certain people, if you will forgive my frankness, ain't worth zilch. That's why atheists and theists exists. It's a greedy capitalistic world, live with it.
I just noticed that I digress, I apologise. Global Issues rants, I suppose. Anyways, the distinctions are more cultural rather than religion or more specifically who interpreted the Quran and taught it to others. Syafie just happens to be the lovable Arab fellow who spread Islam in South-East Asia, thus the Syafie school of thought since in the process of converting predominantly Hindhus into Muslims, the newly enlightened creatively combined local flavours into Islam. Christians do it too. Christ originally was born somewhere in March I think, but the former sun-worshppers worships the Sun-God's something celebration on December 25th so to make the idea of Christ as God palatable for the locals, they turned the Sun-God's holiday into Christ's birthday. Heathens into Christians. You can research more about what other paganistic rituals that are still practiced unknowingly by God-fearing Christians today. For Muslims it's a bit more complicated, since our extremist conservatives aren't as docile as the Amish. We still believe in technology, after all. It's scripted in the holy book, in metaphors.
And heck it does prove that the Quran is flexible and suitable for all.
Btw; please don't be offended by my twisted humour, history depresses me, especially of my own faith. *sigh*. Fallen from grace indeed...
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