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Lim
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To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
December 30, 2004 - 07:29 AM
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Hey,
Which is better?
It is more important to be truthful than diplomatic?
or To be diplomatic than truthful?
Think about it. Opinions are appreciated.
McSalad and her Tomato Friends
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Joseph Lengmang
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truth or diplomacy........
December 30, 2004 - 08:48 AM
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Sometimes truth,and sometime diplomacy,it all depends on thh circumstances.But one thing need be made clear,the truth is like a bitter pill,people often find it difficult to swallow,even if they are at the point of dead.diplomacy is an approach to telling the truth but in a mild and polite fashion, its a political term, anyway it depends on who and who are involved.
The truth is the truth,you cant cloth it though,its naked and no matter how hard you try to suppress,it will always come out.its so resilient and strong.You know how i define diplomacy?its a way of telling someone to go to hell in a way that he,ll look forward to it.
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Brian
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
December 30, 2004 - 10:35 AM
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Shirley, does diplomacy have to be untrue? I don't really think so. When I am being "diplomatic" with someone, it's because I want to express something that may offend them or cause some trouble. When I am in this situation, and I seem to be from time to time, I don't lie but I may withhold a few details that I can bring up later if need be. I have heard diplomacy defined as "saying 'nice doggie' until you can find a really big stick." I'm sure that is true out in the world of politics, but in our personal lives sometimes diplomacy is unavoidable. Ideally, I would just like to shout out the comlete truth all the time, but that has gotten me into big trouble so I am a little more careful now. ; )
Here's an example from my life: I get this at work a lot. "When is someone going to be out to fix my computer?" I could tell them the truth, which is probably not for a while. But what I usually say is something like "I'll check with your tech and have them call you back." Perfectly diplomatic and as long as I actually do what I say...also truthful.
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Yevgeni Klochikhin
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
January 8, 2005 - 09:52 AM
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Shirley, why do you think diplomacy and truth don't go together. I study international relations and am going to be a diplomat. A diplomat is not to lie. If he says something untrue that may lead to very bad consequences even to war. Diplomats never lie. They just don't say all the truth. That's the skill. Don't lie to anybody. Just try to use truth as you want it to be. Tell somebody that and somebody another thing and you'll win because you'll deceive them but never lie. That's the best variant to gain a victory.
Know Socrat? Ancient Greek philosopher. He was really good at arguing. He just asked questions and then led a person to contradiction and proved his point of view without protecting it. Just leading a person to self-contradiction.
One more thing. Diplomacy is not to be mixed with political correctness. Diplomacy is not the way of telling things but it's the way of communication. Means of diplomacy are not in the manner in which we say things but in convincing your counterpart and that's all.
And the last, I almost entirely agree with Brian because he is telling the things I believe in.
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Gerald Derome
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
January 10, 2005 - 01:00 AM
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Too often there are many truths coming from just as many prospectives or viewpoints. The sun is setting i report on the phone from here while someone at the other end of the line in Japan says, "it is rising", while someone in Vancouver says it is high noon!
I think that this is what we are caught up in.
As all doctrines in power claim to be truthful and right from their perspectives as well as their representatives, diplomacy on the international stage may be easier to be viewed as a bunch of liars at a liars conference then honest people exchanging ideas and viewpoints trying to solve or explain their differences and solutions.
Yes, piplomacy is a way of explaining a truth from one perspective without being foul to the listener(s).
Unfortunatly, I do not write that way!
i/not_neo, pasta
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Lim
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One moment puhleese,
January 10, 2005 - 01:12 AM
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I have another questions. Can the poorest people in the world be diplomatic and practice the truth as well? Can a disabled person who is born deaf,mute,blind practice such conduct as well...? Can they do it better than someone who has all the senses100% working, and has been following the medias,readings etc...
Think,innerthinking,burst#
Shirley McSalad
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redmamba
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what am i diplomatic about
January 10, 2005 - 01:14 AM
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Before we come to diplomacy, there must be that which we are diplomatic about. that which we want to be diplomatic about is the what is. truth in my understanding is what is. so, before diplomacy is the crisp clear truth i.e what is in this time and space. Being diplomatic does not call for being false or untruthful but it's about being truthful in the situation. Judging the situation as it is and opting for the diplomatic way for the situation is such.
Those who resort to lies with the claim that they are being diplomatic are not diplomats but liars. diplomats present the truth but in a technical or a diplomatic way.
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Rana Lo.
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
January 10, 2005 - 06:51 AM
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Tell the truth but in a diplomatic way!
Im a teacher & i've got these devils in class,their paretns ask "hows my kid doing?" i can't tell her to the face "he sucks! the little bastard does...etc" so i say he is ok BUT he does so&so (then here comes the truth!)
Parents tend to be defensive if u attak their kid so u try to tell the truth but as my supervisor said "sugar coat it"
It does work,at least in my field!
Romaica 
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Lim
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Minerals...
January 10, 2005 - 09:48 AM
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Excellent point of views. The reason I posted this question here is because I want to know how do people practice this two. I personally practice 2 of them in 1, which often gets me into deep troublw either with my parents or with my school mates. That is why, everybody including everyone knows that I do not lie and I speak the truth even when it hurts. But, come to think of it, truth does not hurts. You know why? Because, when you start talking about a fact, and it keep continuing, eventually,nobody is gonna get hurt by it. ^.^ It you speak a lie and then a truth and vice versa, bouncing with those two terms here and there, that will hurt! ^.^
Even my mom and pops agree that I am diplomatic. Now, let;s put it into a bigger screen. When is it time, how will people with power handle this two together??? To me, looking at the political turmoil out there now, I see that diplomacy and truth is like oil and water....Yikesss..
Open to criticism.
Shirley McSalad and her Tomato Friends
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Brian
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
May 31, 2005 - 01:08 AM
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I agree with Bitsy. I try to never lie and only be "diplomatic" when I have to. Like this weekend when my mother asked me if we can have a laptop setup at my wedding reception (July 24th!!!) so people can look at pics we just took of the wedding. I knew I wouldn't want to do that, but I told her I would "think about it" and will tell her later. I didn't want to shoot her idea down in her face, so I thought that would be better. We'll see how that works!
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Luke Lieberman
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
May 31, 2005 - 06:29 AM
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congradulations Brian - happy to hear you tying the knot!
good luck trying to control your mother in this situatin - she has probably been planning this wedding since the day you were born.
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Free_Spirit
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late review
May 31, 2005 - 10:37 AM
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What is truth? Its just a perception that changes like the wind where ever you go. I think if the world stop trying to shove the 'Truth' down other peoples throat we wouldn't have a problem. In regards to a duf dumb mute who is disabled, even if he could practice the truth, what on gods great green earth would it matter? who could he affect? As regards to which is better, to be diplomatic or truthful, you definetly need the two. the truth can do you harm if you dont know how to phrase it, yet can work miricles given the right time and place.
I will say one thing though... 'one should always speak the truth no matter how bad it sounds'.
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Lucia
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
May 31, 2005 - 12:10 PM
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Originally posted by Everst
Diplomats never lie. They just don't say all the truth. That's the skill. Don't lie to anybody. Just try to use truth as you want it to be. Tell somebody that and somebody another thing and you'll win because you'll deceive them but never lie. That's the best variant to gain a victory.
And the last, I almost entirely agree with Brian because he is telling the things I believe in.
From these descriptions of diplomacy, it is clear that truth and diplomacy are mutually exclusive. Telling partial truths is lying. Withholding information is lying, or equally as bad. The purpose of both withholding information and lying is to manipulate another person. Lying in and of itself is considered immoral specifically because it is used to deceive and manipulate another person and it is manipulation which is immoral, not the lying per se.
It seems quite "diplomatic" to argue that telling a partial truth is not lying, but truth is clear and simple. People merely complicate the truth by the justifications of their intentions and goals. The true issue is deception and manipulation of other people, because that is the true immorality.
Having said that, I also think it depends on the situation. In the closest personal relationships, I think it is of utmost importance to be straight forward and honest - telling partial truths to a spouse or to someone you are romantically involved with is despicable, pathetic and cowardly. However, in certain situations, such as Brian mentioned, well...I guess it is ok - at least I do it too - usually, that person has not entrusted you with their heart, and they don't really care a bit about your life or you as a person. Still, I think deception of all kinds should be avoided as much as possible.
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Brian
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Re: To Be Diplomatic or To Sew the Truth?
June 1, 2005 - 07:43 AM
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Originally posted by luke
congradulations Brian - happy to hear you tying the knot!
good luck trying to control your mother in this situatin - she has probably been planning this wedding since the day you were born.Thanks!
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Zorica Vukovic
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Context and connotation
June 8, 2005 - 10:25 AM
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In thinking about the truth and diplomacy in communication whether on personal or social level, we should have on mind not only black and white, simplified question of "truth" and "diplomacy" per se, but also broader communicational context and the connotation of things we say as well.
Connotation is the associated or secondary meaning of a word or expression in addition to its explicit or primary meaning - The word home often has the connotation of "a place of warmth and affection." But there are words that have the other connotations for different people, for different context and the occasion.
The best advice for effective communication - which is telling right thing (truth) the right way (using diplomacy skills as part of communicational skills) - is better knowing the context and possible connotations of what you are going to say to someone before you start communication. That way you can moderate it the best way for all towards the best understanding.
For the question of "poor countries" or the groups that are in any way "inferior" if they can speak up their truth, it is interesting to work on developing models of effective communication. Their "voice" should be definitelly heard as well as their message, but the ways how it should be expressed leave to us broad possibilities of using various ways and even art of communication.
All of that, all of communication that is, is not to communicate the truth, but to get to some aim, to perform or induce some action as a result of that communication, isn't it so? When the goals of communication are clear they become the "truth of their own" the truth that is materializing one way or the other by communication and its consequences. Mind that there is more of non-verbal communication involved in transmitting the message.
In any case, the field of learning and exploration, as well as the improvement is limiteless. Thank you for starting this interesting thread.
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